lol, I have carried out this situation quite a few times. Interestingly, I do not particularly enjoy going out to eat. People take too long to pick something from the menu, the talk about food is shallow, I have to interact with a waiter that’s sick of their customers but acts insincerely nice because their pay depends on tips, there’s nothing to do besides looking at each other, talking about how “delicious the food is” despite it tasting generic and salty, and I have to be extra considerate of how I eat. The worst part is when someone in the group wants to review the menu out loud and take their sweet time choosing what to order, asking the waiter for “a few more minutes” to place their order 😩
I know I’m being ridiculous, but it’s my experience.
Funny, in all honesty, and I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but it sounds like you’re creating your own problem here. You’ve got a self fulfilling prophecy kind of thing happening where you’re already determined to have a terrible time going out to eat with friends/colleagues so you ensure that’s exactly what happens.
Try to be more easy going and patient, and try to make a connection with those around you. Going out to eat is rarely about the food, it’s about the company. And I agree, small talk is insufferable, but it helps establish a base from which you can launch into more significant or more intimate subjects of discussion. It’s a hoop to have to jump though in order to earn the rewards of camaraderie.
Good luck my anonymous friend – you can do it!
Ha, I was thinking about “how to make friends” advice earlier. When you ask NTs how to make friends they just list places you can go. They assume once you’re in a place with other people you will naturally make friends with them.
Locating humans is not the problem!
Positive I’m NT. The people you’re talking to might just be bad at advice.
“Oh, cool, I love going our separate ways and eating alone. I do it all the time! Did we just become best friends!?”