Never take powerball tips from powerball winners.
Never admit to being a powerball winner.
The centurian in my family smoked, drank heavily at times, dipped, ate fat, drank raw milk, worked out in the sun all day.
All the people close to her also did those things and died in their 60’s
She made it to 104 and was pretty miserable about everything by the end.
I’m just imagining some frail centenarian beginning to address a small crowd, and from random pockets of empty space, scientists in lab coats spring, vaulting towards the aged person, quiet-shouting “hey-HEY-NO, DON’T. Don’t listen to them! hey. HEY. NO. DON’T DO IT.-shut up old man-IGNORE HIM.”
(my bold)
According to the Guinness World Records website, Branyas believed her longevity stemmed from “order, tranquility, good connection with family and friends, contact with nature, emotional stability, no worries, no regrets, lots of positivity and staying away from toxic people”.
The real secret to longevity is to have spotty health records and a difficult to verify birth certificate. Bonus points if you’re in a country that has undergone multiple radical regime changes.
(Political) scientists don’t want you to know this one weird trick to eternal life!
Yeah, fuck all that noise
What are you supposed to do if you are the toxic people?
- Find you toxic traits
- stop doing them
I’m not too concerned about toxic centenarians.
No regrets
Damn. I regret that I lived a life with regrets. Add that to the list of regrets.
I plan to outlive all of my enemies out of pure spite and toxicity so that one day I can piss on their graves/ashes.
Thinking like this could lead you to die earlier. Stress kills. If you can let anything go, you could try.
“We have no fucking idea how to do what they’ve done and we haven’t done it ourselves, but please keep paying us to figure it out rather than learning from them for free.”
I normally side with scientists, but they need to shut up and sit down, on this one.
I’ll accept “pick which old person you take advice from, many are assholes.” as a fair bit of advice, though.
It’s the wrong phrasing but the right take. We shouldn’t take anecdotal advice about being healthy.
To be fair, I think many of us would be far too tempted to mess with people if we lived that long. How many people here would say something absolutely ridiculous like, “I drink my own piss at least once a week!” Or, “I catch and eat all the squirrels that get near by bird feeders!”
“Need to live to 100…better drink my own piss”
