I found a YT channel of a HS student posting video diaries. I thought it was similar to what I do here, but she titles every video “Entry #”. Taking some inspiration.

I wore some old pants I had and was of two minds about them. First of all, I don’t like them because they’re stretchy. I think this is really what’s fucked me throughout my pants-wearing journey: I hate stretch in my jeans. I’ve only warn very few jeans, in the grand scheme of things, but I’ve never worn a stretchy pair I like or a non-stretch pair I don’t like. Coincidence? I think not! These ones are stretchy, and therefore uncomfortable. It’s like I’m weirdly aware of them… It’s hard to put into words. Maybe it’s psychological but, at the end of the day, what matters is what I feel, and that’s psychology, so that’s what matters.

Visually, though, I think they looked totally fine. I didn’t dislike seeing myself in them at all. They’re not the straight fit that I’ve been preferring, but rather a sort of slim—or something to that effect—that tapered all the way down to my ankles. I think I can pull them off, but I do prefer the baggier look.

However, I found myself thinking back to my early university days. I wore those pants a few times… And I used to do that crease in the pants to make them hug my legs more. I’m not explaining this right, but I basically did something to make them be skinnier. At least I think it was these jeans, and that’s really weird. I mean, they fit me totally fine, don’t get me wrong, but they are not wide enough for me to do that, not even remotely close. How much skinnier was I!? I know there was a time in my first year at uni that I lost a lot of weight. It was a combination of a lot of walking, nervousness and stress, and a change in diet that lead to me dropping a lot. I didn’t notice it at the time, until one day I hopped on the scale and saw some number… Which I have now forgotten. This is very frustrating to me. I don’t think I was ever in the 50s, but I was in the low 60s, if I remember correctly. That is at least 13, maybe more kilograms less than what I currently weigh. That’s crazy to think about, to be honest.

I still have a lot of work to do regarding my weight, even if I’m proud of what I’ve achieved so far. I intend to work hard to keep losing! I think I did reach my goal of 73 at some point, but I’m quite a bit above that right now on account of Christmas and New Years indulgences, but I’m still comfortably below 80 kg, which is a huge win for me any way I see it.

The CeraVe moisturizer is, so far, a gigantic failure. I tried to use it exclusively for a couple of days, but my skin felt so tight and uncomfortable that I felt I had to go back to Uriage, and when I did the difference was brutal. It’s a totally different ball-game and the price difference is totally justified. Well, maybe I’m being unfair to the CeraVe moisturizer, I’m sure it works for some people, and maybe I didn’t give it enough of a chance, but still. I’m gonna stick with Uriage, for now.

Now, to socks. I have these invisible (very short) socks that I wear all the time, but I’m not so sure about them. I like the idea of tiny socks and I think they’re comfortable enough, but my mum has commented on them that they don’t look too good when I’m sitting down because my pants ride up a little and it shows way too much ankle. I don’t necessarily agree that’s a bad look, but I do agree that it’s something a little… Showy? I’m not sure that’s the word I want to use there, but I mean that it’s very much not me. As such, I’ve considered changing to ankle-high socks. Still relatively short, as far as socks go, but covering the ankle and therefore hopefully making it less of a thing when I’m sitting down. Also, they’ll the back of my ankles a little better. When I walk a lot, I tend to get some friction burns in the back of my ankles—I’ve said this twice now, I mean the region of my Achilles tendon—and I’m hoping taller socks will help mitigate that.

Now trainers. I love the latest shoes I bought, I’m really looking forward to buying some other ones in that same vein. For now, I’ve been trying to keep them in good state, and I think I’ve succeeded. They could use a little cleaning, which I do do regularly, but other than that they’re great. My shoes tend to get worn out in the back extremely fast, but they’re looking solid so far, probably because I’ve been very careful putting them on and taking them out. It’s nice to take care of the things you like.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but I’ve put my old pants up for sale. €30. Hopefully someone buys them.

I’m not proofreading this post.