they will put a tube into my stomach in a mini surgery prior to the main one to run additional tests. Last time I had the tube I had to be put on anxiety meds from the discomfort it creates and ended up in a hospital a few times before it, so I asked for them to plan so that I’d have it as soon to the surgery as possible, and the amazing doctor who is overseeing it said he understands and will make sure. Honestly, he’s really empathetic and great, and I’m blessed to have him looking into this.

But I am terrified and literally want to cry.

The estimated time is it will happen in the next 3-4 weeks. I will be put on an urgent list for some tests I’d otherwise wait months on to avoid me living with the tube too long. They first suggested I’d live with the tube for 3 weeks, but after I raised my concerns, he will try to make it so it’s just a few days or maybe just a day.

They will also perform a much more sophisticated surgery, because apparently based on the xrays they have, someone royally messed up the previous surgery which is the true reason for the issues, and the solution proposed by the previous surgeon, which I refused because I knew it was bad, would indeed not work, even though on paper it appears much easier. I feel like I’m in good hands, even if the future looks very scary.

Please don’t ask for details related to the surgery. If I don’t give any, I don’t want to provide them, for one reason or another. I am venting. I don’t want to feel looked down upon or like a zoo attraction. Thank you.