I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
I feel your pain, and your post speaks to me almost as if I wrote it. To make it even worse, however, is that I’m now in management for the last two years, and have to put on an even more false front when all I want to do is work. One thing I have gotten better at, is being straightforward. Instead of just dodging around it and trying to let them down easy, just saying “I really need to finish this assignment I’m working on, can we talk about this another time?” Or “hey I appreciate you wanting to tell me about your entire weekend, hour by hour, but I have several things I need to get to working on, we’ll have to chat later” and then just stare at them until they leave. It was uncomfortable at first, but I’ve gotten pretty good at it lately, maybe give it a try?