Does anyone else have or had a problem creating and maintaining a female self image in your mind? I can barely do it if at all, and it can be a little distressing. I can only see myself as the overly masculine body that I currently have.
I’m not on HRT nor presenting as a woman in public. Maybe if I was my self image would change?
I’m presenting as fem as I can and I’ve been on HRT 7 months, and my own thoughts still misgender me. Not always, but sometimes.
It doesn’t actually feel different being a woman, or being on estrogen. I find most people mistake the feeling of being alive with being a specific type of person. I’ve heard retired family members say they still feel like they’re in their 20s, and I feel similarly from transitioning. Being alive feels the same regardless, you will still be yourself no matter what happens.
Even now I still get a bit startled when I see myself in a mirror and instead of saying, “that’s me,” my brain thinks, “that’s a woman.”
Your self image may change, but it takes more time than I’ve spent trying.
the comparison to age is perfect, actually - in your head you can feel like a different age than you actually are; this can be a bit like the disconnect between how your internal sense of gender is and how you are perceived in your gender, etc.
My older relatives say the same thing, about how old they feel. That’s a powerful insight about feeling alive. Thank you so much.