Why?? Why the fuck are people trying to justify misgendering trans women? I just saw a video on Lilly Tino (not linking to it, I don’t want to support that human piece of shit who made it) and people kept misgendering her in the video and also saying that she deserves to be misgendered because she “doesn’t put enough effort to look like a woman” or that “she makes trans women look bad” and that means they think she doesn’t deserve to be addressed by her preferred pronouns. What the actual fuck? I never really liked Lilly Tino’s content, it seems cringey and I don’t like TikTok anyway but seriously what the fuck? Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s made super uncomfy by this casually accepted or even morally accepted transphobia. Like by this stupid logic I’m not valid because I’m a tomboy, because I didn’t shave off my mustache, because passing isn’t of the utmost importance to me.
Also I think this outrage is stupid because it’s trying to stigmatize us for speaking out about being misgendered simply for not passing. Like what the fuck? Misgendering is extremely disrespectful and when people do it on purpose why shouldn’t I yell at them “what can I get you ma’am” speaks “oh, sorry sir” that’s intentional misgendering, and I will absolutely yell at someone who does this to me, because if I don’t they’ll just keep doing it.
I don’t know what Lilly Tino did to create such drama and I don’t care, this reeks of the same garbage transphobic rhetoric I’ve heard all my life (and unfortunately participated in before I knew better) and it’s disgusting. Fuck all the people engaging in it and misgendering this person, or encouraging misgendering as a form of punishment. I’m sorry but I’m just really pissed about all this and I know a lot of this is just ranting.
I had this discussion with a previous blahaj user who commented that they saw their own transition as “just a medical issue” and “something in their history” because she’s cis passing, in a straight relationship and transitioned long ago.
I pointed out to her though that it’s not “just a medical issue” because it only takes one person outing her in the wrong circumstance, and she’s just at risk as any other trans person. Yeah, in an ideal world, for those who want it to be, transition would be a medical footnote. But we aren’t in that world. We’re in a world where even cis women face transphobia, because they don’t perform gender “correctly”. No trans person is safe from that, even though some are at less risk.
Trans folk that position themselves as different from and distinct to the more visible and out there gender diverse folk aren’t protecting themselves, they’re just putting themselves lower on the bigots priority lists. And yeah, sometimes, that’s what you’ve got to do for safety, but “safer” is not the same thing as “safe”