• quetzaldilla@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    My ex has been sober now for a couple of years, is a super intelligent and rational guy. Very calm. Emotionally intelligent.

    We couldn’t convince him to sober up, no matter how firm, rational, or blunt we were with him, and thus we broke up.

    I asked him what finally got him to sober up, he said he met someone who connected with him without judgement and gave him hope.

      • quetzaldilla@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        It wasn’t implied. I simply did not.

        Back when all that happened, neither of us understood that alcoholism is a disease and not a character failing.

        The alcoholism intensified as part of a stress reaction to other relationship communication problems we already had. And that point, he had done extensive damage to both of us I could not easily forgive him for.

        The person that got him to go to AA was a blank slate for him, and a recovering alcoholic who understood what he was going through-- I’ve never even drank alcohol my whole entire life because I’ve never liked the taste, so I could not relate to him.

        We’re great friends today because we extended each other grace, simple as that.