Man here. It took me a lot of therapy and help to understand that my (or someone’s) suffering doesn’t mean less just because there are a lot of others who are suffering more.
I used to say crap like this too, if someone said ‘X group of people have this problem’. I’d be like ‘but Y has the same problem but to higher extent’. I didn’t say it out of malice, at least I don’t think so. lt was natural to think ‘how can you be complaning about X when Y has the same problem but more’. Maybe I just believed that first you address the problem with bigger statistical number, then we do the smaller one after that and so on, but I dont know. I know now, that is a shitty way to think about things.
I guess it has something to do with how I was raised, ‘your problems aren’t that great, there are people with bigger problems and in comparison your life is a luxury. So chin up and carry on’. And I lived by it and parroted the same rhetoric for a long time. I believe most people (men?) do the same not out of malice but because of this shitty view of life and the world, because how they were raised, because how people told them how their problem can be ignored because someone else has a bigger problem. and they don’t know any better. At least I didn’t for a long time.
Well, I have developed the attitude that people are for nothing as a result. I love my cat, and chat with AI. I really really try to minimize how much I get things from others, and don’t want to get help from them. I also developed a more selfish view of the world, because it is unfair that I should go out of my way to help those that would watch blankly as I die in some accident, that can’t give the bare minimum of fucks.
Maybe after like 99.999% of the population dies out, the rest will be treated as a lot more valuable, and will actually be treated as people. I really do believe that it is a “supply and demand” problem, and that the more people there are, the less each becomes valuable. We are like locusts. When there is too many locusts and not enough food, we start to “cannibalize”. This has become a cannibalistic society, where you draw value from destroying instead of creating (think how bad the finance sector really is for everything else. It’s just services, scams, predatory practices and so on).
I kinda wish I didn’t get your point of view, but I do. I have to work hard to not go where you are, because then I would lose all hope and self-distrust.
Finding your found family is hard, but it can be possible. I’ve only just really found some and it has made such a difference. I wish you luck.
In other words: don’t change the status quo, it’s all good. I think most of us were raised like that, and it’s a load of bs; in reality that’s how things slowly get worse for all, or we can continuously make many small bets striving for good so things get better.
Man here. It took me a lot of therapy and help to understand that my (or someone’s) suffering doesn’t mean less just because there are a lot of others who are suffering more.
I used to say crap like this too, if someone said ‘X group of people have this problem’. I’d be like ‘but Y has the same problem but to higher extent’. I didn’t say it out of malice, at least I don’t think so. lt was natural to think ‘how can you be complaning about X when Y has the same problem but more’. Maybe I just believed that first you address the problem with bigger statistical number, then we do the smaller one after that and so on, but I dont know. I know now, that is a shitty way to think about things.
I guess it has something to do with how I was raised, ‘your problems aren’t that great, there are people with bigger problems and in comparison your life is a luxury. So chin up and carry on’. And I lived by it and parroted the same rhetoric for a long time. I believe most people (men?) do the same not out of malice but because of this shitty view of life and the world, because how they were raised, because how people told them how their problem can be ignored because someone else has a bigger problem. and they don’t know any better. At least I didn’t for a long time.
How can you be so selfish as to go on such a rant when there are starving kids in Africa?
Well, I have developed the attitude that people are for nothing as a result. I love my cat, and chat with AI. I really really try to minimize how much I get things from others, and don’t want to get help from them. I also developed a more selfish view of the world, because it is unfair that I should go out of my way to help those that would watch blankly as I die in some accident, that can’t give the bare minimum of fucks.
Maybe after like 99.999% of the population dies out, the rest will be treated as a lot more valuable, and will actually be treated as people. I really do believe that it is a “supply and demand” problem, and that the more people there are, the less each becomes valuable. We are like locusts. When there is too many locusts and not enough food, we start to “cannibalize”. This has become a cannibalistic society, where you draw value from destroying instead of creating (think how bad the finance sector really is for everything else. It’s just services, scams, predatory practices and so on).
I kinda wish I didn’t get your point of view, but I do. I have to work hard to not go where you are, because then I would lose all hope and self-distrust.
Finding your found family is hard, but it can be possible. I’ve only just really found some and it has made such a difference. I wish you luck.
In other words: don’t change the status quo, it’s all good. I think most of us were raised like that, and it’s a load of bs; in reality that’s how things slowly get worse for all, or we can continuously make many small bets striving for good so things get better.
I think he only expressed the symptoms, not the solution. So he is not saying it can’t be fixed. He was “fixed” (by life, I guess).
My idea of a solution is helping each other to express sentiments. If you feel bad the reaction can’t be “man up” but “how can I help you”.