I remember the time I was minding my own business, drinking a big cold glass of somethingorother, and the straw, I shit you not, turned right into a dick. It was big and meaty and I thought to myself “well, I have to turn in my truck nuts, now.”
How tf are these dipshits in power and I’m begging any corpo to pay attention to my resume and hire me? How tf do these mfs survive the extremely high standards it takes to even flip burgers?
Better question: how do they even go outside without hiding in their basements? These are grown ass men who probably still believe in cooties.
Look at this man, he’s the apex of masculinity. He hates women and refuses to drink from straws because they constantly remind him of dick-sucking, he would never do that. He’s just always thinking about it whenever he sees anything remotely phallic. Straws are for women, because only women suck dick. Not him. He doesn’t. He won’t. He doesn’t even want to. Please, dicks, leave him alone.
Then why did you all have a years long temper tantrum about trying to do the absolute bare minimum to reduce single use plastics and ban plastic straws.
the misogyny extends to mother gaia
“you can take my miroplastics from my cold, dead hands.”
Man who has never wiped or cleaned his ass. Ever.
I wonder what his “manly” stance on spoons, knives, and forks is.
REAL MEN eat their food like a pig eating out of a TROUGH
Eating the bug paste out of the trough is fine and all, but I draw the line at sleeping in the pod.
And then they shit it all out on their balls
GOOD POINT.
More like a duck. Pigs tend to chew.
if you lack the dentition to tear through your meal you’re put out like old yeller
The difference between a cup and a straw is girth
I only drink from rivers, like a real man
Also my tummy hurts
Do you think America could be game for a Raw Water thing? Like a raw milk thing but with water and cholera.
No fucking way
this frail old man trying to put on this macho too alpha for straws act is beyond pathetic. meanwhile this dude spends 80% of his time making wackos on reddit think the government is gonna declassify UFOs any day now
is this a blowjob thing or a doesn’t wash his ass thing?
Yes.
sucking is for women, ok. i will never eat a noodle
Italians in shambles
i lap my fluids from a shallow dish, like a beast man
Weak. That’s what the cats in my house do.
My technique is more bear like tho
Jail this man for unamerican activities
Sharing is communist, this “man” is clearly a red
Pinko
Hell yeah brother. Elephants are so phallic that I had to stop going to the zoo. I told the zookeeper to cover the trunks up so I don’t have to look at them and they said “no”. Woke will never win as long as alpha males stand up.
Oh my God he doesn’t want to drink from a straw because that is for women! He is so sexy and masculine!
- What most people are definitely thinking when learning this
I put my nostril directly against the mirror and inhale like a man no straws for me
