I can understand that.

Me helped it to make different usernames and playing roles to try out different things. Then the reaction was against that role and not myself.

It also gave me time to come up with good reactions to reactions. And everything that worked, I adapted for my “real” self. Like social interactions with training-wheels.

Learning to not let it get to you or even see some humor in it was one of the greatest feelings in my life and I wish you the same feeling.

I hope that shit gets better for you.