This has happened to me a few times. One I remember was the game Alchemist, where I just sat there confused as hell for 4 and a half hours while three guys were all talking about strategies. Tonight it was Terraforming Mars, where I was told it would be a 3 hour game, but by hour 4 we were halfway done. This time I said “it’s 11pm, I have work in the morning, this will be my last hand” and the host got very passive aggressive with me. I just don’t know what to do in these situations.
^Also is there a word for this? My girlfriend said I was “held game hostage” but I don’t see that used in my searches.^
I’m regularly your friend that plays long as fuck games, but I always make sure that anyone I invite for these long games is acutely aware that they’re in this for 4 hours and if that’s not ok with them to tell me and we’ll play something else. I kind of get the annoyance you host had when you abandoned the game midway, but it’s really on them to manage expectations, especially when playing with adults with obligations. It is also up to them to figure out that when you explain a new game, it’s going to take longer to play.
So really no fault of your own, and definitely don’t apologize for having work in the morning, but it seems your friend is not that good at managing expectations and that means you’ll have to do it yourself. Ask ik advance what game you’ll be playing and watch a review or video of it (you can also watch a live game on Board Game Arena), and yeah you’ll probably miss out on some great games that look bad from the outside but if not spending 4 hours playing a game you don’t enjoy is more desirable to you then that’s it.
You could also, of course, try communicating with your friend about your grievances. I don’t know what good will come out of that discussion but I don’t think it can be that bad.
The problem here is this friend communicated it was a 4 hour game but it’s actually 8 hours.
It’s so unreasonable to just expect people to stay longer then what everyone agreed upon
Going by BGG Terraforming Mars is a 2 hour game. New players learning the rules and building engines instead of pushing objectives can lengthen the game, but 4 hours is pushing it and there’s either a problem with AP, people not paying attention, or people not taking their turn.
If that’s regularly the case I can see why OP doesn’t want to play longer heavier games. 2 hours of Terraforming Mars is fun, 4 hours is a slog.