[Requesting engagement from trans-feminine people on HRT]

I don’t yet know when I will begin hormone replacement therapy, but the anticipation leaves me prone to developing expectations I worry are unrealistic.

Not sure how best to explain. My emotions, and sometimes my expression of those emotions, will feel masculine when heightened. Feeling intensely happy or angry about something even unrelated to my identity, those feelings give me dysphoria because of how masculine they seem. It’s not that being happy or angry is inherently masculine, of course. The dysphoria comes from the emotion’s manifestation seeming masculine.

I don’t know if this makes sense, but has anyone experienced something similar and/or seen changes to these sorts of things?

  • activ8r@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    3 months ago

    Firstly I should note that I am not on HRT, but I felt the need to respond as someone who has suffered from dysphoria and issues of gender identity, but ultimately made the choice not to transition. For additional context I was born female and identify as female.

    Everyone is a combination of masculine and feminine traits and behaviours, regardless of their birth sex or gender. This is perfectly natural and nothing to be concerned about. A single trait or emotional response certainly doesn’t define your entire identity.
    By transitioning you are just making it easier for those feminine traits to shine through. We can’t know right now exactly which traits will become more feminine. Certainly you will see many physical and emotional traits changing during the transition, but your hormone replacement therapy doesn’t have to be the final step. Your transition is moving you to a different path, one where your feminine aspects will naturally shine. I hope that this will make you feel more comfortable and natural within yourself.
    As for you feelings of masculinity: Embrace them! I know this is much easier said than done, but even as a woman masculine traits are natural. Following your transition you may find your behaviour changes, you may find that it doesn’t but you feel more comfortable with a new perspective, or you may find that you want to work towards managing those emotions in a different way.
    Regardless, I’m sure you will be pleased with your transition. It’s likely you will not be exactly who you want to be immediately, but that just puts you on the same footing as everyone else. Never forget that if you don’t like who you are, you can always work on it and become the person you want to be.

    I wish you the very best of luck and I hope you get all of the support you deserve!