I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.
In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.
Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.
I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.
My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.
Please don’t let the assholes who make you feel like shit manage to outlive you. You’re the kind of person I want living a long, happy life. Is there a short term goal you can sieze upon to just hold on a bit longer?
There’s an election coming up. Your vote matters more than it ever has before. Is there anyone you justifiably despise? Plan to dance on their grave. Don’t give into despair. Maybe get fucking mad about something, grab hold, and fight like hell.
There nothing, theirs nothing. I have nothing I’m looking forward to
Is there something you want, but it seems out of reach?
It gets better.
Fr, some day OP will look back on all this as an inspiring story of how things got before they turned it around. Just gotta get through to that point, day by day.