A 33-year-old man was charged with throwing 11 electric scooters into Idaho’s Snake River.
The Gang Frames Mac
The deliverator got pooned one too many times. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_Crash
Really though, this guy was tossing the rental scooters while riding his own electric scooter. I’m sure he was just pissed they were parked in his way.
Excellent reference- didn’t even need the wiki link
Omg, I just noticed the Domino’s shirt. 😂
Thunk. And more red lights come up on the windshield: the perimeter security of the Deliverator’s vehicle has been breached.
No. It can’t be. Someone is shadowing him. Right off his left flank. A person on a skateboard rolling down the highway right behind him. The Deliverator, in his distracted state, has allowed himself to get pooned. As in harpooned. There’s a big round padded electromagnet, on the end of an arachnofiber cable. It has just thunked on the back of the Deliverator’s car and stuck. Ten feet behind him, the owner of this cursed device is surfing, taking him for a ride. Skateboarding along like a water-skier behind a boat.
In the rearview, flashes of orange and blue. The parasite is not just a punk out having a good time. It is a businessman making money. The orange and blue coverall, bulging all over with sintered armorgel padding, is the uniform of a Kourier. A Kourier from RadiKS, Radikal Kourier Systems. Like a bicycle messenger, but a hundred times more irritating because they don’t pedal under their own power - they just latch on and slow you down.
No need to get rattled. The Kourier will have to unpoon or else be slammed sideways into the slower vehicle.
Done. The Kourier isn’t ten feet behind him anymore - he is right there, peering in the rear window. Anticipating the maneuver, the Kourier reeled in his cord, which is attached to a handle with a power reel in it, and is now right on top of the pizza mobile…
An orange-and-blue-gloved hand reaches forward, a transparent sheet of plastic draped over it, and slaps his driver’s side window. The Deliverator has just been stickered. The sticker is a foot across and reads, in big orange block letters, printed backward so that he can read it from the inside:
THAT WAS STALE
Going to be devil’s advocat here but there is a chance they where parked on their driveway on on the footpath blocking access for those who use mobility scooters
They have them here in Australia in my local town and I constantly see then lined up right against people’s fences or on pathways blocking access for those who use mobility scooters or people who have mobility issues and find it hard to get around them
And these are the kind of scooters that have the occasional beep that annoys you in the middle of the night if they are parked against your fence and your bedroom window is near the fence
seattle here. they’re everywhere, blocking sidewalks and left in driveways and parks. it’s ridiculous, they lay around for days until their owner company picks them up, charges them back up and starts the cycle of stupid all over again.
and the only people I ever see using them? Kids too young to have credit cards, and too dumb to wear helmets.
No reason to ruin local waterways.
Literally a near-infinite amount of places one could put it besides “in the fucking river”
Granted you’d need a spaceship to access most of it, but the option is there.
I usually just toss them into the grass or the on street parking shoulder if I’m feeling extra salty. Saw one guy toss one on a public trash can once, funny in person.
But chucking them out of the solar system? I like that idea. Anyone got the phone number for NASA?
All the more reason these electric scooters should be parked on the street, ideally displacing car parking. If the law doesn’t permit that, the law should change.
In a way, it would be a democratic way to show how public space should be allocated. If a place has more app-based electric scooters than cars parked beside the curb, then perhaps the local council should take the hint and build infrastructure to better accommodate those users. If there aren’t many scooters, then no harm no fowl.
Still doesn’t justify it. I live in a city with rental scooters and ebikes everywhere. I’ll move them out of the way if I encounter one in the way, but have never thrown one in a river no matter how annoying it is.
The solution is move them literally anywhere else other than the fucking river, what are you on about.
Idaho? I was expecting Philly. The guy looks like Mac.
He looks so pleased with himself. Not going to lie, I would have been watching like I had tickets if I saw a bunch of cops failing to chase down and then creating a perimeter for a smug ass dude on a one wheeled scooter.
Is that… specifically illegal…?
“charged with felony malicious injury to property”
You mean destruction of private property and littering into a river?
No, I get it. It’s just a silly title because you are “charged” with crimes outlined in the state or federal penal code, in this case “felony malicious injury to property and misdemeanor resisting or obstructing officers.” The way it is worded implies that there is a special law in Idaho that forbids throwing eleven electric scooters into the Snake River.
