• MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    This is something the neckbeards need to take a page from (apologies for the intended pun).

    It boils down to this. No matter who you’re dealing with, no matter what they look like, no matter what may afflict them… People want to be treated like people. Not be “looked after” or “taken care of” or whatever…

    The friend zone doesn’t exist. If you’re in a “friend zone”, one of two things is true: either, they’re not attracted to you (big deal, move on), or you’ve made it clear to them that you would be a nightmare to date.

    Pretty much every gf I’ve ever had in my 20+ years of dating, started with friendly conversation and normal get togethers with friends. I’m going to depart the dating pool now, the ring is on order and I got the tracking number yesterday.

    Stop treating anyone like they’re a prize to be won, or that you need to do something “get” them. If you’re being yourself, and nerding out over something you’re genuinely interested in, and that turns them off, then maybe your happiness isn’t important to that person you like so much… Maybe you need to find someone who can be happy that you’re happy. Simply: you deserve to be with someone who loves who you are, not what you are for them.

    • AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I didn’t win the love of the mother of my child for anything I did yesterday. I did it because of what she expects tomorrow.

      The higher her expectations, the better I must be doing. I never want to give her an excuse to lower those expectations and none of them have to do with fancy gifts, expensive dates or anything like that.

      Love is grand but it is built from small devotions.

      Trying to be the man Fred Rogers said I could be was a good place to start. She found me there and we got here together. I couldn’t be happier.