Original question by @[email protected]
I’ve been with a lady for two years and recently started dating her new boyfriend. We all consented to the relationship and so far, it’s going good. I’ve also heard from some people though who used to date many people that it didn’t work out so they decided to date monogamously.
I’m not against polyamory, but I find it never works out when somebody decides to open up a previously monogamous relationship.
A (former) close friend of mine got engaged a few years back, and then his fiancé brought a third into the relationship and they became a throuple. That relationship lasted maybe another year or two, until she called off the engagement several days after his mother passed away, and left him for the other guy while he was grieving.
Found out sometime later that the third she brought into their relationship was actually her cousin, so there was definitely some Sweet Home Alabama crap going on.
Another friend of mine tried to commit suicide recently after getting dumped. Her relationship with her boyfriend of ~2 years had been rocky to say the least. They broke up, got back together, etc quite a few times, but the most recent breakup was after he brought a third into the relationship, then allegedly found out she was texting a guy and dumped her on the spot.
If I start dating someone and they never mention that they’re poly, I just assume they aren’t and keep the relationship monogamous. I don’t really like it when it’s opened up, either. It’s hard to tell if someone agrees just because they like me or if they actually want to open it up.
That being said, if someone cheats on me in a monogamous relationship, I’m mostly pissed because I would have said it was fine if I had known that’s what they wanted. That being said, it goes both ways so they would also have to understand that me being okay with them being with other people means I can be too. My first poly relationship was with an ex who only opened the relationship up for herself and got pissed off if I even jokingly kissed my friends.