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  • xj9 [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    5 days ago

    I’m trying to date again, but it’s scary af to put myself out there and I get more scared when someone does like me 🙃 I’m doing OK at making friends tho so maybe i should push myself less and just try to have a social life to start with.

    struggling to be organized enough to go do stuff vs. 🧊 but the little I’ve done feels good

  • homhom9000 [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    6 days ago

    I still do not regret my 3rd party vote. Majority of the people in my life do not know who I voted for(I think they assume Kamala) but if I hear hollow brain takes like “this is what they voted for”, then I’m letting it rip. A coworker told me Biden wasn’t that bad and I had to shut that down on the spot.

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    6 days ago

    I’ve been thinking about my first ever partner a lot, and I miss her.

    I’m not gonna get into the whole story behind us, so to keep it short: I met her early on in college. We connected really well over the fact that we found out that we’re both Black and into metal. She was the only Black person I’ve ever dated, and I think that’s why she’s been on my mind a lot as of late.

    As some of you may know, my dating pool is already very small due to some non-negotiable concerns about personal values. For this reason, I didn’t think I was ever gonna feel to racially restrict it, but I cannot see myself ever entertaining a relationship with another non-Black person again.

    I’ve become increasingly scared of people who do not truly understand the Black experience, but with that, I’ve been taking a lot more pride in my Blackness and really find it crucial to seek solidarity with other Black people.

    Of course, no amount of introspection and questioning of anti-Black conditioning can ever make a non-Black person truly understand the Black experience and why it can be so damn important for us to be understood by other Black people, especially in a deeply intimate setting.

    Intersectionality makes it even more rough. My relationship with this person wasn’t just a Black relationship—it was a queer Black relationship, and that makes it hit hard. That level of understanding and connection is so valuable.

    When I’m ready (which I will consider myself once I finally achieve some fucking job stability), I will get out there and try to meet more Black queer people. I don’t ever intend on dating another non-Black person ever again.

    As far as my non-negotiable values go, I’m gonna play things by ear. Really, what’s most important to me is finding a Black queer who has at least these two things in common with me upfront: radical and vegan. The other things? Well, they can be discussed and talked through so I could get an idea of what they think about them, but hell, the thing is that I’m not necessarily just looking for long-term or even specifically romantic, really. Having that connection with another Black queer will be important regardless, and even if they’re incompatible with me long-term, I’ll definitely value getting to know them.

    I’d take being single my whole life over entertaining a romantic relationship with a white person ever again.

  • vegeta1 [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    6 days ago

    Yeah I’m gonna forever use economic anxiety sarcastically as anglo trump fans cheer this madness. I’m sure starting a regional war will magically solve this.

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    6 days ago

    I threw away the last track I was working on and started fresh on another one.

    This one has a happier vibe and opens with a drum solo!

    I realized the last one wasn’t working so well for me because I tried to structure it around a concept I previously developed. I’m far more vibes-based in how I write music than one might think, so when I try to stick to a certain concept instead of just letting the heart do what it does, I find it goes worse for me.

    This is track #8 out of 9. After I finish this, the last track I’ll work on for the debut will be a shorter one (likely no more than 3 minutes). I will focus more on structuring vocal arrangements and lyrics next.

    Edit: Also, unlike many other things I’ve written, what I got so far here is entirely in 4/4. Shocking, I know.

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    6 days ago

    This woman who was a customer at my last job one time saw me in public and asked me where I’m working now. Of course, I wasn’t terribly transparent about the whole mess, but I told her that I’m looking for a new position. She gave me her email and told me to list her as a referral when I’m applying for some positions at her own workplace, but unfortunately, even with that, they didn’t accept me.

    This was a few months ago, but out of the blue, she emailed me today to ask me how things are going. Really good timing because I am feeling more and more dry when it comes to ideas. She said that she’d be willing to see if she can find anything else for me.

    I emailed her my resume, and she said she’ll get back to me after the weekend.

    I don’t know what she has in mind, but I’m certainly a bit more confident now. It also helps that she’s a Black woman because y’know how jobs are with discrimination.

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    7 days ago

    If anyone here knows of jobs that make good use of fast typing speed (like remote transcription positions and that shit), don’t be afraid to let me know.

    I have a typing speed of about 120 WPM, and I’m tryna leverage this skill really well to get out of this unemployment hole.

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    10 days ago

    Just ended up getting the most pretentious Frenchie in my DMs all because he wanted to debate etymology with me. Here are some banger quotes:

    [CW: Cringe, Brief Mention of French's Horrible History]

    Him: “Etymology is the logical root of words. Without it, language becomes arbitrary, malleable, stripped of meaning. That’s exactly what the system wants: to twist words in order to twist thought. Newspeak begins here—when we forget that freedom, justice, or authority have precise, inherited, rooted meanings. To know etymology is to resist. It is to think clearly with words that still carry truth.”

    Him: “Every word carries historically constructed semantic content. Its etymology reveals not only its linguistic origin, but also the primary intention behind its use. For example, education comes from the Latin educere, « to bring out, to raise » a dynamic toward autonomy. If we redefine this word to designate simple conditioning or passive transmission, we negate this fundamental orientation. The word then ceases to designate what it designated. This creates a short-circuit of meaning.”

    Me: “No, this is not true. Etymology does not set rules. Like I said, please acknowledge the fact that you have to concede that ‘girl’ is gender-neutral in this case. You don’t have to do a whole critical analysis here—it really is not that deep.”

    Him: “We don’t have gender neutrality in French. In German, they have feminine, masculine, and neuter.”

    Me: “Okay, but that’s not relevant to the fact that we say ‘girl’ in English to mean ‘female child’ specifically despite it etymologically descending from a gender-neutral term”

    Him: “So we can write anything arbitrarily and interpret words without foundation. Worse, we can lose words to ideologies”

    Me: “Strawman argument. I said that words are defined by how they are used, not that you can use ‘toaster’ to mean ‘tree.’ My argument is that etymology doesn’t prescriptively dictate the meaning of a word, and there are many examples of this.”

    Closed out with this:

    Him: “I am not responsible for the lexical poverty of English and your difficulty in accepting that Latin words are relevant and based on implacable logic. Etymology is a major tool against obscurantism. Extremely so in France, where the system is violent in its distortion and dilution of words. It is a tool. An empirical DNA.”

    Me: “The system is violent in its distortion and dilution of words? Reminds me of how your people were violent to mine when they enslaved them. Now fuck off.”

    and then I blocked.

    And how did this conversation start? Someone used the term “principle” instead of “doctrine” (in a particular context) in an Instagram story I shared, and he replied to it with, “It’s a ‘doctrine.’ Not a principle!”

    I shit you not. 🙄

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      0·
      10 days ago

      Wait wait wait…there’s actually people who support the French trying to stop French from changing because the youth was using too much slang? That wasn’t an elaborate bit? LOL deeply unserious language.

    • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      0·
      10 days ago

      Him: “I am not responsible for the lexical poverty of English and your difficulty in accepting that Latin words are relevant and based on implacable logic. Etymology is a major tool against obscurantism. Extremely so in France, where the system is violent in its distortion and dilution of words. It is a tool. An empirical DNA.”

      Uh, thats pretty fucking wild thing to say as someone from the imperial corefidel-wut

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    12 days ago

    White “leftists” be like, “No need to try to unlearn my white supremacist conditioning if I just act like POC don’t exist!” galaxy-brain