The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
There is no way that 99% of meetings are a waste of time. Like, many 70%, tops.
There’s also no way I can avoid meetings before 2pm, timezones exist and sometimes things are on fire. If I leave someone hanging because I care only about my own day, then I’m the asshole.
Depends on the organization.
It’s simply wrong, made up. No need to defend it, there are no specifications that it only applies to work group X in company Y.
I keep reading work as worm.
“cues me into worm mode”
3 hours of deep worm.
I didn’t zoom in: 2 Go for a wank
I support this.
I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.
As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.
What kind of work do you do?
Quality and training manager at a company that values neither.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Hey, bud. I can’t leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
Wake up at 5:30 and not have to deal with any bullshit from anyone else until 2pm sharp. 8.5 uninterrupted hours for long walks, “deep work,” and weightlifting. You know, the typical work day.
This schedule is completely unrealistic even with privilege
No meetings until 2pm? Doesn’t matter what industry you’re in, guarantee you interact with industries that work 8-4 and will not bend over backwards to schedule you at the end of their day. Like does this person just not go to the doctor? Or deal with banking issues?
Saying NO is a superpower!
“Hey, Sanctus. Where are you going? I was hoping you’d finish that report before noon?”
NO
“Uh, OK? Guess I’ll see you at the meeting with our main customer then.”
NO
See how easy that is?
Its really easy until everyone complains I’m saying no, my review scores drop, and I get fired. Idk what kind of heaven exists out there where you can actually say no without the rest of the office dogpiling you like rapid corporate zombies but its not the place I work at. I could say no once, that person hold a vendetta, and give me a 1/10 on my review, costing me a raise. Its absolutely a fucking Klingon culture up in here.
Saying no is a superpower, just not in the way the author of the original post intended. As comments like yours highlight, saying no to nonsense work is out of reach for the vast majority of people who would most benefit from it (i.e. workers who are bothered by managers). It sounds like your workplace is especially gruelling in that respect.
Its a slog for no reason, it doesnt have to be like this at all. The “leaders” create and actively maintain this environment. I have given whole presentations on how to fix it. They want it to remain a brutal revolving door.
It sounds like your coworkers lack honor! Perhaps it is time for them to experience Bij…
Mate, it’s impossible to work with you, we’ll have to make you redundant, I’m sorry.
NO
while curling 50 lb. dumbbells
Reminds me of that one scene in the first episode of Coupling where Jane refuses to be dumped.
“fuck, he’s got us. We’ll have to regroup and think of another tactic.”
How’s your shift going? Looks like a pretty busy morning! Hey could you please make sure you catch the markdown on the bread? The bakery counter didn’t cover up the old barcode properly.
NO
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you’re up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be ‘won’ by this point, and you still haven’t gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
If I’m waking up at 5:30am and not drinking caffeine for 90 minutes, I’m definitely mourning.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I’d say about 15 minutes. So let’s say we’re at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we’re at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn’t pre prepped or if you don’t have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you’d have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we’re at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you’re just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I’d give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you’re late for your meetings which removes your “superpower” to say no, you didn’t factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you’re going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
How is it taking you up to 45 minutes to make a cup of coffee? I can make a hot cup in ten, and most of that is spent waiting.
Because americano has coffee and espresso. And if you’re going to make it right, you’d need a coffee maker and an espresso machine. Both beans are usually more concentrated the fresher they are so grinding your own beans right before you make then drink is going to have a better flavor
An Americano does not contain coffee. It is just espresso and hot water.
In fairness he says 90 minutes after waking, not 90 minutes after the walk. If you get home from the walk by 6:30 that’s 30 minutes to make it, or potentially buy it if you have one nearby to get on the way home/quickly drive to.
Now yes that’s already 10am, but considering he mentions 2pm in the right column, you could make the argument the left column is the “until 10am” part, and the right is “after 10am” part, though I am giving large amounts of benefit of the doubt at this point.
Haha, that’s quite the reality check. God I hate those grifters…
oh I’ll definitely be mourning if I were to wake up at 5
Mourning my will to live
I dunno, I feel like I’ve won on any day I don’t have to lift heavy things.
Keeping it noodley. ✊
I like how planning the morning the night before happens in the morning. That’s about how much I procrastinate, too.
Sunrise here, tomorrow, is around 7:30. When I take my morning walk, presumably just after I wake up at 5:30 because the walk is supposed to “get my brain ready to work” and I’m supposed to put several hours of work in during the morning, how do I “get sunlight in my eyes”?
Have a villa in each hemisphere.
Turn your Winter into Summer taps forehead
I saw this multiple times already on Linkedin reposted with huge engagement.
While I understand this is borderline fiction, absolutely unrealistic and in my eyes an equivalent of those pictures with pretty girls laughing with a plate of salad promoting healthy eating, but for me the comment section of this post is the cherry on top cheering how “brilliant” this is. People are so fucked up on Linkedin.
I think people are fucked up on Linkedin because it’s a self-marketing site, so they are selling a fake version of themselves. Wait that sounds like another version of Facebook and Instagram…
Mourning routine, lol.
My mourning routine is generally to dress less colorfully than usual and gather with others who knew the deceased to commiserate over our mutual loss.
Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day
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I mean, same honestly. Thank god for remote working (but if any hiring managers are reading I totally work all day at home).
3 hours a day is pretty solid, but don’t tell the blue collars
They know, they knew before we admitted it to each other.
Blue collar here. I love my job most days, but there are times I envy you guys that don’t have a solid 8 hours of work packed into almost every day. Makes the workday fly by though.
In all seriousness, 3 hours of actual solid work, uninterrupted by meetings or whatever… That’s not as unusual as it might sound. This survey puts the average worker at <3 productive hours per day, and this one at around 4 hours.
Office workers*
The thing that’s so irritating to me isn’t the tone, isn’t the weird preaching, isn’t the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.
Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.
Wake up at 5:30am
Counter offer: go to hell
I can do step 1 without waking up, so I would take that extra time to continue connecting with myself while sleeping. Also, caffeine takes 20-30 mins to kick in, so they’re actually waiting close to 2 hours to cue themselves into “work mode”.
Terms like “connect”, “be present”, “superpower” tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the “no meetings before 2pm” and “3 hours of no distraction” that gave it away for me.
The waiting 90 min for caffeine part is actually based on decent scientific evidence, but it’s so damn hard.
Apparently the logic behind is that sleep neurotransmitters take a while to flush out in the morning, but drinking caffeine stops the flushing process and leaves you with leftover ones in your system. So as soon as the coffee wears off, you’re way more likely to really crash.
I’ve tried to implement that habit, but ended up falling asleep at my work desk basically every day 🤷 (Although my doctor also says he’s about 80% sure I have Narcolepsy, so that might have something to do with that)
Be careful about what you take away from influencers like Huberman etc. They are businesses first and foremost, and while their business may involve giving good advice, they’re ultimately driven by views which can lead them to exaggerate and overrepresent evidence for the sake of having new, compelling content.
Get out of here with your facts. I’ll imbibe caffeine whenever the hell I want.
Just fuckin’ around, no ill intent.
Get a prescription for Modafinil.
Can you cite a study?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCJr49GU9yY
It seems like a very common misconception that is maybe somewhat correlated, but causality hasn’t been found as far as I could find. Probably one of those things that are hawked by “wellness influencers” and “hack your life” youtubers without actual evidence.
