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Don’t interrupt the monologue. GM’s probably been looking forward to it for a long time.
You sly dog! You got me monologueing again!
Improvised weapon, deals 1d4 dmg
I believe there is a rule for falling onto another creature. The falling creature takes normal fall damage while the creature that was fell onto takes half of that. So the druid wildshaping into something with a lot of health is smart and I would allow it since they are essentially spending a whole wildshape for that damage.