So I’m not a particuarly sexual person, not asexual, but my views on sex just seem so different to the norm. I don’t find sex jokes and things funny and don’t really like to talk about or have sex, and I hardly ever think about it. (And quite frankly, I’ve never enjoyed it and don’t ever really try to pursue it).
I went to a party yesterday and we played one of those Jackbox games, it was really crude and sexual and I just didn’t “get” it. A question came up “What is your ideal sex location” and I just flat out have never thought of that before. Like, is this sort of thing something that people usually think about? Everyone else in the room seemed to have an instant go-to answer, but I just didn’t know.
A mate of mine made fun of me, implying I was a virgin for not thinking about sex enough apparently. It was just really gross and juvenile and I can’t stop thinking about it. Like, he treated my lack of “getting it” as a moral failing or something, something to be ashamed of.
It’s been on my mind all day, just really upsetting and I don’t really know why. I guess it’s the implication that I’m less of a man or something for not spending all my time trying to get laid. We’re in our late 20s/early 30s, so I was really surprised to hear this kind of immature teenage shit coming out of a close friend, it felt kind of like he was letting me know how he “really feels” with that one line, when he normally holds his tongue.
It just feels so gross, like the idea that I need to go out and have sex in order to be considered more of a person to him. I might be overthinking it, but it just…hurts in a way I can’t really describe easily. Which is why I’m writing this nonsense, to share my thoughts, and hopefully hear some ideas from other people about this sort of thing. Am I being the weird one here? Should I just “toughen up” or something and try and get a partner or go looking for a one night stand or something? I’ve always thought of myself as straight and cis, but my attitudes towards sex just seem so different from the norm. I feel like a failure of a person right now, though hopefully that’s just because I’m really exhausted and low on energy.
The way you are feeling is natural considering how everyone execpt on you seems to be operating on the wrong assumption that (desperately) wanting to have sex is universal and not having sex is not a choice but an individual failure. All I can say is that your friends, maybe just in this case, are narrow minded and you shouldn’t let it get to you.
Yeah, the rest of the night was great, it was just this one thing that really stuck out. I guess it is only “getting to me” because it made me question my sexuality a lot more.