We were in the same class and I thought she was pretty and started chatting with her and trying to … I don’t know, you know, get to know someone well enough to start a relationship with them. However you do that – I still do not know.

I was also going through a period of severe depression and a period of severe vodka-in-the-morning alcoholism to compensate. I was not at my best. I remember every time I talked to her, and she seemed pleasant enough and friendly enough the whole time. At some point she mentioned she had a boyfriend, ok, cool; so what is the move here? completely stop talking to her? continue talking in a normal way? I attempted the latter, a few weeks later I got an official letter from the school saying she was concerned about “unwanted in-person contact and indirect contact with [me], which she deems to be harassing in nature” and I needed to sign a thing to never talk to her again.

I have a few unresolved points I can’t get over:

  • How am I supposed to continue existing knowing this occurred? I was labelled god-knows-what, I mentally carry it around like a scarlet letter. Is this the intended effect?

  • How am I supposed to enter a healthy relationship at this point? Do I still deserve love? Are you sure?

  • I am sober now, I am going to therapy, and so on, i am no longer a threat to society, etc etc

  • How can someone do something so austere, not even send a simple polite text or even a mean text before going straight to the authorities like an rat?

  • How can I not continually hate myself forever?

  • kandoh@reddthat.comEnglish
    0·
    8 months ago

    How am I supposed to continue existing knowing this occurred? I was labelled god-knows-what, I mentally carry it around like a scarlet letter. Is this the intended effect?

    You are the only person who will remember this even happened after a few months. No one else is thinking about embarrassing things that happen to you all, they’re thinking about their own embarrassing moments.

    How am I supposed to enter a healthy relationship at this point? Do I still deserve love? Are you sure?

    The key to receiving love is to stop needing it. Relax and become absolutely comfortable being by yourself, and ironically you’ll be presented with more opportunities for relationships.

    How can someone do something so austere, not even send a simple polite text or even a mean text before going straight to the authorities like an rat?

    Sometimes people aren’t comfortable confronting others directly and this seemed easier. It’s understandable, women outright rejecting a man is a dangerous thing for them to do.

    How can I not continually hate myself forever?

    If you can figure this out, let the rest of us know how.

    This is very embarrassing but you will get past it if you relax and move on. Don’t take it personally. Don’t try to get closure from this girl. But from here on out you’re going to work on your relationship with yourself, treating yourself and giving yourself the appreciation you deserve.