fucking INSULTED that my “not gonna overshare” post got nearly tewnty (20) upbears. just to spite u f*ckers ur gotnna get an ATOM BOMB of an overshare
i’m sleepy. and capitalism, wage labor? yeah, you guessed it - still freakin hate’em
fuck now that you mention that, i remember that i do actually want to complain about my job & my growing sense of misanthropy/depression (related) but that would require a bit of oversharing… 
thank you i think you should feel free tho (if you want to that is, im not ur boss)
yall should feel free, tho 
instead of oversharing in the megathread, i’m simply gonna not do that 
best of luck comrade 
and nothing wrong with the pipeline, it’s an increasingly common story among newer members. it means PSL’s online reach/cred is growing, and hexbear, r/trueanon, and r/deprogram types need to be reached & activated too!!
not out of your ass at all!!
2: We talk about the mental illnesses of artists in a way we often don’t talk about the mental illness of other famous people. When you have a mentally ill artist, their mental illness often ends up being central to the popular narrative about them in a way that the mental illnesses of a other high achievers typically isn’t. No one is going to tell you Gödels mathematical discoveries were reliant on his severe mental illness, no one is going to pretend we couldn’t have had the theory of gravity without Newton’s bouts of melancholia. Meanwhile assuming Sylvia Plath could only write as she did because of her suicidal depression is the norm.
this is a point a friend of mine brought up actually when i was talking to them about this subject, i think there’s a lot to it. i guess just in my own personal anecdotal experience though - through my friendships & dating life - even hobbyists are more drawn to these types of outlets as i guess a vehicle for certain inner hurts/mental illnesses, so even outside of (notable/mainstream-ly successful) high achievers it feels like there’s something there. anecdotes be anecdoting though!
I can tell you my experience! I’m in one of the larger west coast branches so YMMV in a small branch, or in the handful of branches even bigger than ours. I applied online August of last year, then what followed was:
I followed the Alienated Too Online Communist to Touch Grass pipeline, but a lot of people are recruited through pre-existing organizing and the path might look ever-so-slightly different there (I think they probably skip the phone call screening?) Also in smaller branches/before streamlining some back end stuff, online applications were falling through the cracks a bit more often - if that happens to you, check out your local’s Instagram and hit up an irl volunteer meeting to express interest there!
As far as workload expectation, while you can’t be an “on-paper” member, there is a lot of flexibility in terms of what regularly showing up looks like for you. They understand that as a working class party, we have busy lives outside organizing just in terms of the daily hustle to survive. As long as you communicate about availability you should be good - I almost didn’t join because I was scared of the commitment level, but A) a few comrades assuring me there’s no quota and that there’s flexibility and B) just realizing I was showing up as regularly as a volunteer as plenty of full members, made me decide membership was right for me (I still have intermittent self doubts though, that is extremely normal!!)
And as far as social anxiety, that is an incredibly common social hurdle many of us face and a muscle that is built through practice and the collective support of your comrades. Social anxiety and other types of neurodivergence are insanely common in my local, I can’t speak for everyone but I’ve always felt the Party is good at providing the structure and support systems to help build this skillset. And if you were to be around for the long haul, while I believe you’d definitely build a baseline aptitude with this, you may also find a more behind-the-scenes niche that plays to your more organic strengths.
Hope that was all helpful! Feel free to hmu with any questions and I’ll try to answer to the best of my abilities and social capacity.
lol oooooooh purple man, good old purple man, always looking at things that aren’t meant for you
alright so today am i obligated to be marginally less blackpilled on electoralism? dark-grey pilled like some kind of industrial sludge? is that a thing? sludge-pilled, anyone??? is this anything???
(congrats Zohran i’m glad nyc isn’t going to have skinnier, even-more-sex pest tony soprano for mayor)
leaving aside the toxic narrative that romanticizes mental illness as some essential fire to the creative process, creatives (so like artists, writers, musicians, etc) are definitely more prone to mental illness right? like there just objectively is a (value-judgment-free) correlation there?
(no shade to my mostly-mentally-healthy creative brethren or my mentally-ill-but-not-particularly-creative brethren)
when i was shopping around for orgs before joining 
, it’s wild how - despite being a far more marginalized ideology - membership were immediately vastly more normal vs 
. and when i say normal i don’t mean it in like a boring conformist or ableist way, i just mean down to earth and empathetic and connected to/of the working class. (me and my comrades are plenty quirky & neurodivergent).
also it’s insane to me the amount of infighting DSA slap fights i’ve seen play out on fucking social media/twitter, people call PSL a cult for “monitoring social media activity” but a serious org not having a social media policy is wild to me.
sino-soviet split…whatevah happened theyuh?? 
feeling kind of 
and overwhelmed rn - between interpersonal conflict between mutual friends in one of my main friend groups, exiting a dysfunctional short lived romantic relationship (with someone i still have to see semi-regularly because we’re in community), feeling the consequences of addiction issues and not knowing how to tackle them (moderate alcoholism), and unpacking some weird childhood/parenting shit.
idk i just feel like i have no personal oases of security/stability at the moment while the world feels like it’s falling apart and i still have to work full time and i have Party obligations and aaaaaaaaaah 
s’all good, that relationship was worth a shot. back to default, gonna try to just focus on hobbies & friends & organizing.
speaking of politics ive been grillpilling to perhaps a hedonistic/cowardly degree in terms of being checked out of the Iran situation. how tf do yall keep up in the news megathread? i always just get information overload especially in weeks where decades happen. i don’t really have a good go-to way to keep up with continuously breaking news, my podcast head days are mostly behind me and corporate media makes me want to puke, plus neither are good really for continuously/rapidly developing situations. i know some of yall have like curated feeds or something? I just never figured out how that shit all works i can be a borderline boomer abt tech shit.
i be looping i rlly want to stay at your house from cyberpunk everytime im hung up on a baddie w/ trust issues (i.e. this describes every baddie i have ever loved also i.e. my most recent relationship is truly cooked for now, RIP) 
i want to complain about my job in enough detail that it’s an actual good vent but not so much that my job is identifiable, the shitposting depressed wage slave dilemma 
ya we’ve talked about the anxiety/ADHD combo on my old account, something I know quite well/intimately. hoping the new therapist is helpful 
just try to be kind to yourself in the process and remind yourself that progress isn’t linear.
idk if this helps you but i try to sometimes look at intrusive thoughts as external objects as a way to self-regulate in the moment - real, existent things not to be run away from, but also not some fundamental part of myself that i need to agonize over. makes it into a passing annoyance more akin to, idk, a too-loud car barrelling down the street, vs an all encompassing horror.
eternal death to the DEA
