That sucks, dude. I haven’t been too up-to-date on Canadian politics (been too busy panicking over US politics) and was hoping at some point Canada might relax immigration requirements for people who’re POC, LGBTQ, etc; but maybe not…

I think it’s bett_er_ up here, though like the US it will be the cities that are best to go to. Rural areas throughout Canada are roughly as bad though, even those who work forces.

I’m honestly scared that the LGBTQ community isn’t gonna “”“be a thing”“” in 30 or so years because it seems like LGBTQ rights are backsliding; not because being gay will go away, but because the Internet will allow for surveillance so invasive that there’ll be no chance for a community to exist.

Like, people outside the community don’t get it. Hell, some people inside the community don’t totally get it. The reaction I’ve gotten from people who’re cishet is “aw, it’s okay. I think you’re just overreacting. Trump really won’t be able to do as much as you think”. Hell, right now I’m dealing with parents who think hrt is an optional, cosmetic thing; not something I kinda need to not be a completely dysfunctional, self-loathing mess. They’re wanting me to move out (reasonable) before I start HRT (unreasonable). I feel like I’m in a catch-22 from hell.

I know a lot sucks right now, but that is the sort of defeatism we can’t do. And I’m sorry because I know what it takes to push through it regardless, I really am sorry. The one bright spot here is that our numbers grow with each generation..

“Overall, each younger generation is about twice as likely as the generation that preceded it to identify as LGBTQ+,” says the report, which was published Wednesday. “More than one in five Gen Z adults, ranging in age from 18 to 26 in 2023, identify as LGBTQ+, as do nearly one in 10 millennials (aged 27 to 42).”

If this continues to the next generation, two out of every five people will identify as part of the Gay-BLT. While the conservatives will come for us – and I make no mistake, they will come for us – they’ll be facing a number far larger than they were prepared for. We will die in terrifying numbers, yet climate change is going to slowly end it, because people will be too concerned with the forest fires, choking air, floods, heat domes, crop failures, etc. Conservatives right now are like Gollum at the end when he’s tumbling into the fires below, clutching his ring. They’ve ‘won’, but they don’t understand that they’ve also killed themselves.

We will break into small communal areas, and we’ve already seen that while in no way perfect, or even entirely functional, we queers can stand together. Time and time again we help each other, guide each other, support each other. Our communities will suffer far less from the inevitable infighting because we’ve done more with less, and have both helped and needed help from our siblings.

I’m starting to understand why afrofuturism tends to feature heavily afro-centric worlds. Like, not just knowing why, but actually understanding why. When you have to rely on politicians who see you as just a pawn to be traded, you start to wish you had a country of your own that’s free from politicians who’ll use you. Why can’t we have the Gay Empire and the Confederation of Fur, Feathers and Scales next door or something? Just steal Western Sahara or something. Supposedly people can’t even agree on who actually owns it; but then that’d be colonialism, 'cause there’s nothing left on this planet that isn’t already owned.

sigh

We don’t need such a concentrated area, we’ll find each other in cities, small towns, all over the place. We do have hetero allies, there are straight people who will join us too. It sounds good at first, but we lose more than we gain by consolidating in one area and keeping to ourselves.

You seem like a good dad, you’re accepting your daughter for who she is, so I probably don’t have to say this, but make sure your kids know and understand you love them and that they’re free to talk to you about whatever. Make sure you don’t just tell them, but that they understand they can come to you to talk about things.

I have done my best, and thank you so very much, I appreciate you saying that. Two of my kids came out to me (one enby, one ace/aro) and I found out they’d only come out to each other and me, not even my partner, and I cried a bit, obviously. We don’t talk about ‘everything’, but they trust me for most things and I’m so happy.

Topics like sex were very much a taboo growing up, so I thought I was a disgusting pervert when I first became aware that something was different about me as a teenager. It led to me suppressing my feelings for about 20yrs; and when I finally came out a month or so ago, the dam broke and 20yrs of pent-up emotions came flooding out. I lost almost all of my friendships in a self-destructive spiral that lasted somewhere around a week because I couldn’t get my emotions under control and my parents wouldn’t step in and help.

I am sorry you did not get a better response than you did. I let my kids down a lot. For any things it looks like I did well here, I did four terribly. I’m not excusing your parents; you didn’t choose to be born, your parents had you, and thus have a responsibility. I just want you to know you had nothing to do with their inabilities, when parents like us fail in that way it creates a terrible loop for you, and I am so very sorry. A lot of people panic when they see their loved ones in that state of mind, and instead of helping, we freeze.

(I did my best to set up a system with them where my kids tell me what they’re okay with hearing about, and I never cross that line. I taught them everything I could about consent and safe sex, how to avoid STI’s, and that they can always call me for help. That was pretty much the only area I have done well.)

P.S…

Girl, that is absolutely bullshit

Thanks for this. I don’t mind people calling me “dude” or “man” in a gender-neutral way (like, “hey dude, what’s up?”); I do it a lot myself. However, it feels good when someone thinks to swap the genders. Can’t be on hrt right now, so I’ll kinda take any affirmation I can get, heh.

I wanted to end this, and I’m sorry it’s so much later, for you with something I hope can help you.

GIRL.

The ‘identity politics’ war isn’t won when Conservatives take away HRT, or gender-affirming surgeries, or voice lessons, or the ability to change the gender on your identity cards. They need you to admit defeat and agree with them. You know if you’re a woman; not me, not them, not your parents, not your friends, not random people on the internet. Gender isn’t Sex. “A woman” is not definable because there are four fucking billion women out there who are each unique and different from each other. My grandmother killed a Nazi with a butcher knife. Which part of the ‘a woman’ checklist is that?

GIRL. Do not. Let them. Break you. You know who you are, and they don’t know who you are. They’re not psychic.

I listen to this song when I feel dysphoric, please feel free to join me. I share it with anyone I think might need it. Just know that when you listen to it, I’m right there with you.

I love you, I hope you understand what I mean, and I hope you find help that you need. Look for the ‘rainbow’ patches and buttons, those people will help you.

Truth to power, workers unite, stay queer.

This isn’t about people who are trans, but there is a fascinating thing called the Fraternal Birth Order, where every male child a mother has, their likelihood of being gay goes up significantly.

Twenty years ago, Ray Blanchard and Anthony Bogaert demonstrated that the probability of a boy growing up to be gay increases for each older brother born to the same mother, the so-called fraternal birth order (FBO) effect. Their first investigation indicated that each older brother increased the probability of being gay by about 33% (1). This startling phenomenon was confirmed in multiple studies based on independent populations totaling over 10,000 subjects, and a meta-analysis indicated that between 15% and 29% of gay men owe their sexual orientation to this effect

Apparently you’ve never had people tell you that you don’t matter because you’re from a red state. I’m trans, stuck in a red state, and get to have people tell me I deserve what the state is doing to me and my trans siblings because we were born here.

Girl, that is absolutely bullshit, I am so sorry to hear that. I have family in both Alberta and Saskatchewan (Canada’s blindly right-wing provinces) and it is brutal if you’re not white, male, and hetero. Even moreso if you’re visually not one of those things, and you’re in a rural area.

One of my kids is trans, and we’re about to get a Con federal government, so we’re pretty worried for her. Who knows what care will be removed when Canada’s Trump Loving Party takes over (the Conservatives are looking like they’ll get a majority).

(For anyone who doesn’t know our parties, that’s the Federal Liberal Party (Centre/Centre-Left Wing), Conservative Party of Canada (Right Wing), New Democratic Party (Centre-Left/Left Wing), Bloc Québécois (far tougher to describe. They swing from Right to Left Wing.)

Oh wow, I just checked and mine turned 21 today! 🎊

Jesus Christ my steam account is old enough to drink in the US.

I’m always curious how someone can see the Israeli army commit (and video tape themselves committing) genocide, be condemned by many Israeli anti-genocide agencies, and then turn around and go “no. It’s the people protesting who are wrong.”

This isn’t about being anti-Jewish, it’s about calling out genocide in all of its forms, whether it’s colonial or more direct. People want genocide to stop, that’s what the protests are for.

My grandfather had nightmares till his death, every night, from seeing the mass graves in Germany in the 40s. My grandmother helped Jewish people escape Holland until she was caught by the Nazis and sent to a camp. She also had nightmares till she died.

Both of them would have the same reaction to what is happening in Gaza by the Israeli army.

Is there anyone home?

Okay cool, so the women who make accounts then can still use them, awesome.

Alright, sure. The company will rigorously dig through the data to exactly remove exactly the specific accounts that aren’t real and deftly deal with it, and it won’t be some intern with a weeks training in paper docs from three years ago. No, it’ll be people who will know to do exactly those things. And the data you’re scraping to sell, well, no-one will mind you splicing out data you claim isn’t real and was fake, no they’ll be fine with that. Then when that intern is gone–and they didn’t log anything because they were never taught to–and the new intern arrives, they’ll know to continue exactly where they should, and at no point will anyone fuck up the dates, times, or additions from previous months. At each and every stage exactly what has to happen will happen, and no code changes, updates, or manager-directives will change any of these parts in any way. The addition of anywhere from dozens to hundreds to even tens of thousands of new accounts will be easy to deal with, because this has all been prepared ahead of time, and will immediately be dealt with. It won’t take weeks of meetings on how to tackle it, by whom, and what to push back - because they use waterfall/agile, and it’s a foolproof system where you don’t just punt things forward, you deliberately and delicately lay out each and every change that will now take place mixed with the 2 years that have already been planned out.

Absolutely everything will be covered and not a single thing will get through, and they’ll carefully and easily parse through the data with zero issues on the demand of a very competent government that doesn’t show any signs of issue whatsoever.

So you’re saying if a woman made an account during this time, and threw garbage data in, they’d disregard it and then a month later she could use it for real?

(Also you guys are hilarious about how quickly you can just ‘do that’ because I’ve never worked at any software company where the devs who made the initial code are even still at the company a year or two later.)

Oh absolutely, in my city (in Canada) we have the highest paid and least effective cops in the country. Our cops will gear up like they’re in Afghanistan to arrest old grandmas in Fairy Creek but call them about an assault and see if you get someone that night.

Oh for overall crimes, absolutely, I was referring to just murder (https://www.themarshallproject.org/2022/01/12/as-murders-spiked-police-solved-about-half-in-2020), but also keep in mind ‘solved’ means ‘we convicted someone’ which, you know…

Sure but if you’re in the US it’s basically 50/50 you’ll be caught.

Ok boomer

I’m not saying people can’t be reformed, clearly they can, no argument there.

My point is that Naziism itself, or basically any authoritarian/fascist-esque government, has never been stopped without violence. In fact it’s so rare that one of the only times it happened we named it the Velvet Revolution and it required the collapse of the entire Soviet Union to prompt it.

(The rest of this is about the US, but can apply elsewhere. I’m going to use American examples due to the subject of this post, but it does apply virtually everywhere now.)

This is systemic at this point; the president of the United States is a fascist. The government will now be fascist. And as much as I like the idea of reforming each individual person, how exactly do you think that is going to play out in the US as it is today? The left in the US is extremely shy and pre-defeated. They don’t demonstrate in huge numbers, they don’t come together, they don’t reach out to other groups on a national scale and defend each other. Hell, members of the DNC immediately blamed ‘woke politics’ for their loss, and are completely out of touch with reality. Women/2SLGBTQ+/minorities of any kind now have no official party that fully backs them. So the idea we’re going to get a handful of LARPing dickless Nazi fanbois to change their tune and have that be the feel good story just won’t cut it anymore.

I’m not saying people have to go commit random acts of violence. I’m saying that the government has been co-opted. There’s no legal system to rely on any more. Women are going to need fucking Green Books for going from state-to-state. People in the US have already collectively shrugged when a school or gay club are shot up, imagine what they’ll be like now with Trump and his cronies in charge with the full Project 2025 narrative.

What I am saying is, in the time it would take you to reform these people 20 times their number will be created. If you’re a woman, LGBT, a minority, you need to come together and decide how you’re going to survive this. Is it make no noise, wait it out, hope staying hidden helps? Or is it get out there in numbers and challenge authority? What do you do with people in your community who are ‘traitors’ and tell those Nazi’s where to find the black woman hiding, the boy who came out to his parents and was chased out of the house with violence?

Those men standing there, waving Nazi fucking flags weren’t stopped. They weren’t arrested, they weren’t fined, the legal system thinks that waving the flag of a belief system that says only certain kind of humans should be allowed to live is okay, because they ‘deserve’ the freedom to do so, but women don’t have the freedom to control their bodies. That’s the system the US is now.

Good luck reforming them, I wish you the best, and I’m so sad at what is about to happen down there.

If you are from the US, need to flee, and are in the PNW, please DM me. I’ll do what I can to help you.

I teared up a bit reading your comment, I’m so sorry you all go through this, and continue to go through this.

The worst part is a lot of the men saying this shit, even here in this thread, consider themselves ‘Leftist’. They know it’s the wealthy causing fighting amongst the poors to distract, and yet still these men fall for it. They think there’s some ‘women’s agenda’ coming for them and never once look back and think to themselves ‘wow, thank god they want equality and not revenge.’

If you have examples of Nazi’s being beaten without political/other violence, I’d love to hear them.

The only examples I have of fighting Nazi’s are my grandfather travelling across the world from 39-45 killing them, and my grandmother hiding/getting Jewish people out of Holland while occasionally killing a Nazi in an alley. She went to a camp, but survived.

So again, would love these examples.

Why does it have to come to this every time?

I don’t know, why do men require people to use extra words not to hurt their feelings?

“Young men expect sex, but they also want us to not be able to have access to abortion,” Thomas told The Post. “They can’t have both. Young women don’t want to be intimate with men who don’t fight for women’s rights; it’s showing they don’t respect us.”

See, they even included parts like that, and still people are here whining about it.

What kind of attribution do I need?

Just the ones who conform to my incredibly contemptuous description of them (a majority of white women apparently).

That one, what the fuck?

Can’t you just infer that?

NO. No we can’t just ‘infer’ this.