You seem deeply affected by them caring now and not before. Are you worried they will convince him? If not then they will eventually see it worked itself out and stop caring. If not, well they aren’t involved in your relationship so what do they matter? Not everybody will like you, it’s wasted energy to try and make that the goal.

It sounds like you have a lot of hurt wrapped up in this and I am sorry for that. Men are people. A lot of alt right men were led down a path by people who cared, because others did not and told them they were the opressor and enemy when in reality they were lost and without social connection. Men do not get socialized in the same way women do and beating on them like this rather than offering a hand in help is what led to this exact thing.

You also sound young as well as full of energy on this topic. You are losing the human perspective in favor of us versus them politics. You are perpetuating it.

Please think about what you are doing, I don’t think me debating you further will lead to anything.

Sincerely a leftist white man who loves all people and wants us all to get along and support one another.

Where do you get that statistic? You were given a second chance. Tons of people who commit infidelity get second chances for various reasons. The problem is it is a very personal betrayal that pushes a lot of people emotionally. This has nothing to do with men specifically, only that they don’t want to see him hurt. You don’t either, right? So you are really on the same side.

I support a month for both men’s mental health and LGBTQ pride, but the positioning of both is a bit hamfisted and could be read into maliciously.

Fact is though, if we do not support men in some way, the alienation turns them into enemies. I would much prefer an ally to support, no?

Past experience. Past knowledge. The more often than not correct belief that people don’t really change. If the norm is that a cheater is always a cheater, and you see a friend who was hurt by a cheater get back with them, it is only natural to warn that friend.

Simple as that really. I wish you luck getting through it, but if you truly feel there is no chance of a repeat performance and your bf believes you, why care about well intentioned warnings?