She thinks it’s hot

I like calling my trans gf a trap 😌

It’s a precious gift. I look for the others who care too much and then hold them close 🥹

So that trans youth growing up see trans adults in their community

When i was a teenager back in the early 00s, i went to a trans support group. It largely consisted of older transitioners, age 50+, who were not living good lives, through no fault of their own. But it was a very dark experience for me. I expected that my life would play out like theirs, and i would join the 41% club. I never thought that I’d get to experience just being a regular girl, and that part still seems surreal a decade later.

This is a common experience for young trans people seeking support. This is “trans visibility” and it harmed me profoundly. What would’ve been really nice back then were successful role models who make their trans-ness an incidental detail. We have those now, and they’re not what I’d call “visible” to cis people, although they don’t hide who they are.

so that trans adults see older trans people.

I’m still waiting to find older rolemodels. Most of us are really sad when we get older. I don’t know how similar this is to the general lgbt population, but I’m concerned. My goal is to build a little family, and then just live a quiet life and keep each other close.

“We can disappear into the world and continue to live in the shadows,” he says. “But ultimately, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

Ugh. I really wish people would quit saying this. I don’t want “visibility.” “Trans visibility” feels like an insult. I want to be invisible, and anything less is torment. Some people will never pass as the gender they identify with, but for them to prescribe their feelings on all of us is not fair.

I make eye contact and walk at a normal pace. In Spain people get mad when cars drive down city streets. They glare daggers at you while they clear the street begrudgingly. We need that energy in the United States. Cars should know that they are second class citizens.

This young trans girl i know was kicked out by her parents and moved to my city. She was hatecrimed a few weeks after she moved, and went to the police. She was convinced that they were on her side. One of the cops gave her his phone number and she got the impression that he was interested in her and was going to hook up with him. My friends and i very emphatically talked her out of it. I wonder if she would’ve survived.

It’ll get old after like 6 months. Then you’ll have the entire rest of your life to hate boob sweat just like everyone else.

😮‍💨 another banytrans community to block

So I technically can’t punch down on Americans

Black trans women in the United States are routinely assaulted and raped and have an HIV+ rate of 60%. You sure about that?

My point is that targeting vulnerable groups for humor isn’t funny, it’s just bullying and it’s sad. It shouldn’t be a controversial point.

Just don’t punch down. Simple as.

That poor girl. My gf’s only female teammate quit last month and i suggested she start grinding leetcode asap. Could you imagine being the only woman on a team? Pretty strong indicator that something is very wrong there.

No, they refuse to speak to me to this day. My gf’s family called her to wish her a happy birthday last week, and i cried quietly wishing mine did that too.

I was born into an impoverished extremist right wing family. I enlisted in the military back when DADT was a thing. I was disowned as an LGBT teenager, and medboarded out of the military after being committed to inpatient facilities multiple times. After that, i was homeless for a couple years, living out of a car and then a backpack.

I finally ended up in this little town in Georgia, got a job at a little retail store, and moved into a trailer with one of my coworkers. Her friends kind of adopted me and i felt accepted for the first time in my life. We were all broke kids, but i told them i was going to be a millionaire by age 30. I was still pretty emotionally unstable and eventually moved on from that friend group, but it gave me the hope i needed to rebuild my life.

I slowly built a career for myself after that, working 70-80 hours a week for a couple years, until i had my foot in the door. It got a lot easier after that. I didn’t quite hit my goal by age 30, but I’m close. I founded my first company at age 28, and raised a 10 million series A. My company is now worth 60 million on paper, but of course that’s meaningless until we IPO. But it’s profitable, and in the meantime, I’ve adopted a little family of people like me, and built a comfortable life for us. Life is good, and I’m content.

I’m a software engineer with a decade of experience, and I’m frustrated by the experience so far. Bad UX is bad UX.