I’m aware I’m spiraling but there’s nothing I can do about it here. Getting mental health care is dangerous now as the Trump administration already said their end goal is to take psych patients and put them in work camps.
I lost access to health care when I lost my job a while back. When I got a new job when health coverage, Trump came to power and I now can’t risk using it. Even if it goes well, they medication could be taken away at any moment and I’ll have to go through a sudden withdrawl again. I’ll lose my job if that happens, which means I’ll be worse off than I am now.
I need to get myself in a situation where it is safe to care for myself.
Getting mental health help risks shortening my available time to prepare. It creates another dependency that could make fleeing more difficult as well.