Patch notes: clause unnecessary. Refactored to cover the general case.
Bi_irl
Person doesn’t want to date person with OF
Person with OF doesn’t want to date person
It seems the universe is in harmony.
If you think about, this makes the most sense. A person with an OF is getting their rocks off without other people present most of the time. Unless they are doing content with someone who enjoys making stuff too. But I think the majority of content creators are solo ventures.
In that most common scenario you would have a person not comfortable making content dating someone who does. That relationship is going to end eventually when OF creator is getting their sexual needs met and the SO isn’t getting enough attention to satisfy their needs.
But of course there will always be outliers like asexual people or having opposite libidos. Which those situations might work great to have an OF side gig.
But if we are talking the majority or people, I think its safe to say one OF creator dating a non-OF creator is probably not very likely.
Relationships typically involve more than just sex.
OF content creators date non-creators all the time, just like other sex workers. There’s more to relationships than sex, and content creation isn’t the same thing as actual sexual intimacy and connection
I’ve dated a couple hot chicks back before OF and cam sites were mainstream, and honestly it’s tedious if you aren’t equally attractive. I wouldn’t have dated them if I wasn’t confident in the relationship but it’s still tedious when dudes will walk right up to yall and hit on her in front of her when you’re obviously together.
It’s probably not something that’d be a problem now that I’m in my 30s, but I wouldn’t know cause I don’t get dates these days anyway 😂
Yes. Girl does not have to be a superstart to send pics on OnlyFans and similar. Fetishes exists, she can show feet and have ugly face.
What about a guy with an onlyfans?
They don’t want to date me either.
Hmm, have you tried wearing a fancy hat?
Markiplier?
F1NNSTER
I wonder what comment could’ve prompted a F1NN name-drop on Lemmy…
Edit: for context, the comment above yours, and the one above it, do not appear to me. Not sure if it is just me…
Edit2: Nevermind. I opened the post, from Jerboa, on the web instead, and the comments show
Honestly I wouldn’t care too much it’s the weirdos who would harass her that would make me not like it.
Yeah, the drama that comes with it is probably the biggest issue – it will occupy some part of your cognitive energy.
A gal with a decent income!? Sign me up!
This is often assumed but most of the only fans adult content creators make very little. What if she makes very little but it just makes her feel sexy? I just want them to be happy in what they do.
Yeah if you consider $100-$180 a month “decent income”
I can’t imagine most are making much money.
The market is extremely saturated. I’m willing to bet most people could make more reliable money doing door dash
So ive put a lot of thot into this, and after going through what I did with my ex wife, I think it wouldn’t be a problem so long as
A. I know about it.
B. I get access to it and all paid content
C. No one else appears in it. This covers the whole “well that was an old video I uploaded” scenario too.
D. The relationship is otherwise secure.
E. But the real problem would be someone with an onlyfans wanting to date me.
It’s fine to not want to date someone with an onlyfans, but I feel like the guys who go out of their way to say it usually have other red flags about
Basically men who: —
Could never get a woman that hot
Get jealous easily
Don’t like women having agency over their sexuality
Don’t like women having agency over themselves full stop
Right I don’t see where you get the ability to mindread people nor guilt people into being in a relationship that they don’t want to be in.
I just ask that people realize what I realize, which is it’s an issue with ME that I’m not secure enough to be with a person who I can see having sex with someone else. I cannot control my feelings but I am responsible for them, or at the very least, other people are not responsible for them(at least in this example anyway it’s not as if the of model was having sex with other people AT me.)
It’s ok to be monogamous :)
Oh absolutely, I dont feel bad about that. But the feeling I get thinking about being with someone who does that kind of stuff is exactly a feeling of insecurity. It’s fine and normal, same way its normal to have a little anxiety or a little depression. In healthy doses it’s essentially just personality traits, but to me those feeling stem from insecurity. Perhaps it’s even innate and not something to be ‘fixed’ but it still feels like insecurity to me. But I’m realizing that I suppose I can only speak for myself here.
Except insecurity the word is used always as a pejorative.
It doesn’t have to. Same with anxiety, alone no one’s going to think the word itself is good, yet a healthy dose of anxiety is simply awareness.
It isn’t about what you think it should mean it matters how people use it.
Ehehehehee, a lot of thot. Nice.
C and E sound indicative of some insecurities.
Ah yes, be 100% ok with sharing your partner, or you’re insecure.
Right. Some people handle this well, others are not open to it. Willingness to adhere to monogamy is a thing that varies from person to person and must be discussed in any relationship. Ethical nonmonogamy is a thing, but it’s not for everyone, and it is a lot of communication and intimate work.
I find the notion of ENM peculiar. Just the name starting with ethical gives it an ‘exception to the rule’ feel, that the default is unethical.
It’s like the terms open or swingers (which is a slightly separate thing I get, but in the same space) didn’t exist before or are no longer acceptable.
I think ethical nonmonogamy casts a wider net. I wouldn’t call myself a swinger. I don’t do parties or anything like that. But I’m still not monogamous and it’s still not cheating since my partner and I have an existing arrangement and regular check-ins.
I guess I’m more getting at the term itself than the concept. People for a while have sometimes said ‘we have an open relationship’ which to my mind is functionally the same thing. The other nearest option would be non-partnered in which case a title isn’t needed anyhow.
The part that seems weird to me is by specifically labeling it as ethical, it implies that the standard non-monogomy is unethical which seems like a strange stance to tie a lifestyle to if usable terms exist.
Just the philosophical musings of a fairly vanilla middle age dude navigating the modern social world though. 🙂
I said, “indicative of”, not, “yea you’re insecure”. Amazing how you children cannot parse basic perception from accusation.
Braindead comments are indicative of massive cerebral trauma.
I mean, I wouldn’t want to deal with the mental gymnastics involved with my significant other getting down with other people
I think they were reacting to the “no one can appear even if it was an old video before we met” part.
I mean, there’s still mental gymnastics going on there. For me at least
An open relationship isn’t that weird of a concept to some. It’s about how much others mean to you, not how much of them you posess. People in these comments are fucking pathetic for not understanding this basic fact of healthy relationships: You do not own anyone else. To any degree. Period.
That’s a neat story you got there, but literally nobody here is saying they do own someone else.
Why yes you are correct: what I’m saying isn’t appliccable to 100% of people! Do you want a gold star for your basic observation?
It’s like you retards don’t understand that not everyone has or wants the same relationship.
You are in this comic.
I mean we’re just chatting, but for some reason it feels like you’re yelling
Not my problem Poe’s Law is real.
I said nobody here. I.e. these comments, the people you said think that. Would you like a participation trophy for your reading comprehension?
I think most people here agree with you, it’s just that the way you’re speaking to them comes off as judgemental and kinda mean, so they respond accordingly.
No ownership, but sharing time. I want to buy a house not a time-share. I want that deep emotional connection with someone. I don’t have the capacity to have more than one deep connection and would like someone similar. If my partner chooses they want something open, that’s fine, but we would transition to friends
Yes, but the vast majority of us do have some insecurities and you can at least be honest with yourself and your partner about them.
Agreed, but know what they are. They aren’t lines to control someone with. They’re lines someone should agree with and should know may be signs of other controlling behavior. So many people are OK with being controlled and it’s frankly pathetic.
Ha, C&E are actually relationship needs of mine, friend.
In fact, I think the others are more indicative of my insecurities, but hey, I’m not anxious-avoidant so I don’t know for sure.
If you’re dealing with the boundaries healthily, then it’s not so much an insecurity and more of a limitation. If others are aware and OK with it, I’d call that healthily dealt with. Whether or not the limitation is a problem is merely a matter of preference, and luckily it sounds like yours line up.
I love how everyone assumes “indicative of” is a direct accusation… As if false red flags based on perception do not exist. People are so small minded.
always the “no revenues guys” who drop the first line
I hung out with my incel nephew and his friends. They went on and on about phoney girls with fake boobs.
When I asked if any of them ever touched a “fake boob” before, the silence. Then the “Are any of you dating?” And yep, all I needed to know about them.
