My girlfriend is really close with her siblings and every second week of the month she always has all of them over to have dinner at our apartment so they can get together. It’s a large group of 5 other siblings so it gets loud but it’s all fun and they’re very nice people and we all get along. Her brother is really cool and builds computers for fun and I think that takes a level of knowledge that I don’t really posses so I’m like very happy for people who do things like that and I do see building computer is a hobby because it takes skill determination and a lot of time to do and there’s a healthy component behind I think. I think I see it as a puzzle.
He got upset at me though when we were talking about some computer parts, he was saying how one computer part is running very hot that it burns the cables and breaks the computer and even though this happens he says it’s rare and he still wants one. I asked him how that happens and he said it’s usually because the parts are put under a lot of pressure when they’re being used and sometimes they get really hot and they break and he said it’s usually because of a video game. I laughed a bit and said something like “breaking a computer over an video game lol” but I don’t think he got it and he said “well that’s the whole point of the parts to play video games.”
I laughed a bit but he wasn’t laughing and looked like a said something rude. I apologized for not knowing about the computers and he said it was okay. I told him that I only play Mario kart every now and then and that it’s my favorite game because me and my gf play it every now and then and that’s when he said “that’s a good hobby for you both” and I got confused and said “it’s not a hobby just a bit of fun.” He said hobbies are supposed to be fun and that’s why games are hobbies because they take a lot of time and energy. I frankly disagree with this so I told him “people put time and effort in work but work isn’t a hobby” and he got mad again and said “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I think I upset him over the computer parts so I tried to make it up to him by saying “I think building computers is a hobby and that takes time and effort” but then he said “don’t patronize me I know what you’re doing” so things got really sour. He left the dinner table and went to watch tv.
After driving him home my sister told me that he spent a lot of money like thousands on online card games and that it was a sensitive topic for him. I didn’t mean to offend I really like him but now I feel like he probably thinks I’m some condescending person. Is there any way I can make it up to him?
you need lessons on minding your own business. the happiness he derives from his activities is his to judge, not yours. whether you see it as a waste or not is irrelevant.
if you insist on it being relevant, then you are the problem here.
I just want him to be less angry about video games. It’s a shame he is in his element talking about computer and computer parts and building computers is what he loves to do… it’s just a waste that a lot of his negative energy goes toward the game itself. Just seems all rather disappointing. I’m not trying to fight I just want the best for him
Is it the video games that are making him angry? Based on your post, it sounds like you demeaning his hobby was what made him upset. Then again, this post is all I have to go off of.
I do think I was wrong saying what I did but now I learn more about his gaming habit and how it affects his life and his family I think there’s more to this than we know. I just want t what’s best for him
Wait, does this translate to your action was wrong but you found justification for your intentions afterwards?
meh. your good intentions dont cover for your ignorance or apparent inability to ‘read the room’.
some peoples favorite hobbies are frustrating money sinks. that doesnt mean anyone has the right to tell them that its not worthwhile to them.
you just need to learn to stfu
I don’t think you have to be so rude… what the heck?
well, same to you on behalf of your gf’s brother then. lmao