Sauron now knows 40 ways to cook potatoes…
Sauron now knows everything about second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper.
What about midnight snacks?
Late, late in the night, the hobbits gnawed on midnight snacks. Even Sauron knows them not.
Sauron might have shown up at Morannon personally to faceroll everyone into oblivion before Gollum had time to fall into Mt. Doom, but he was too busy having second breakfast to attend.
“Second breakfast! These hobbits are onto something!” nom nom nom
I love that idea of a divine being of primordial evil downloading all that bullshit and thinking “MAKE IT STOP”.
“Still, it’s better than what I got from Gollum!” shudders
Especially true since you just that at some point Gollum must have fucked a fish.
He likes them raw and wiggly.
This is the reason he fucked up the shire; not because he knew a hobbit had the ring. “Fuck that furry-footed fuck.”
