Dwarf Fortress almost made me fail a few courses in undergrad.
That is a game that redefines the concept of fun.
If you don’t gotta consult the reference books regularly, are you even enjoying yourself?
I bought a second monitor just to have the wiki open at all times.
It is amazing that in zero words that comic encapsulates nearly everything about Dwarf Fortress.
This is the only game that made me regret wasting time eating IRL because I needed both hands for designating jobs.
What I came to say. Thought for sure this post was going to to be a reference itself.
An epic fight with trogdor.
Then, as an adventurer, you beat Trogdor by throwing handfuls of water at it
I have legit weaponized kittens as projectile anti-siege bioweapons using drawbridges as catapults.
Dragon games are oldschool play-by-mail grand strategy that no one alive has actually claimed to play but the crustiest of oldbeards recall their uncle playing at some point.
What sort of games would Kobolds make? Because I can definitely see them making From the Depths
Kobold Space Program
The safety program makes sense if it was designed by a kobold…
You know, a character swap and making everything look rusty and recycled and I think you got yourself a grand mod there.
That could also double as Orky Speish Program. Just paint the rocket red and it’ll go faster.
Infinite play games that focus on collecting random shit for the highest score without any discernable benefit from doing so 'cept “bigger number heheh…”
Sounds like “Achievement Unlocked” would be something they’d make
Something like Cookie Clicker?
Presentable Money
Too polished, Cookie Clicker’s a gnome game.
A kobold-made cookie clicker would only have 3 tiers of buildings and it wouldn’t be a cookie. Probably some kind of tasty beetle I dunno I don’t live in a mudhole.
Uber religious knockoffs of other popular games with a reverence for dragons and a prevailing theme of self-loathing
ever hear of Bad Rats?
I think “Totally Accurate Battle Simulator”
Untitled Goose Game
strike the earth motherfuckers, I just built a computer using nothing but water gates and Armok’s love
Play a Dwarf civilization in Anbennar (EU4 mod). It’s epic. Almost this epic: https://youtu.be/34CZjsEI1yU
I’m tempted to put Eve Online into the “Elf Video Game” category, because the UI could, to quote Yahtzee, “only be more unintuitive if it was at the bottom of a fucking well.” It doesn’t really meet the other categories there. It kinda hits “Halfling Video Games,” with the sheer politics involved in that game.
Factorio is solidly a “Dwarven Video Game.”
The Eve Online UI is perfectly intuitive. There is simply no other way of providing the level of information needed in a different format than lots of tables.
only thing missing is an SQL prompt.
We found the elf.
Eve is 100% halfling game.
I suppose you have an HOA if you’re in a renter corp, but seriously just join a good alliance.
Tabaxi video games: Open world survival crafting rpg with a million different game mechanics. Bugs out the ass because the developers kept getting distracted by a piece of string or some other random bullshit. Ends on a cliffhanger because they ran out of time to finish the story. Robust modding community by necessity.
Palworld then
So. Starfield then
Nah, even the modding community declared that a lost cause.
Skyrim.
No matter how tangled the mess, it’s still a call of yarn, after all. 🤩
edit: I’m leaving it as is.
Celestial video games: Beautifully polished, graphically perfect games that define visual benchmarks for years to come. No interesting content under the surface.
Devil video games: Competitive deck builders that are always receiving nerds and buffs that seem to only harm you, where everyone always seems a little better than you.
Demon video games: Horribly un-optimised sandbox creation games that people only use to cause massive destruction.
Fey video games: Absurd dating sims that exclusively feels like the creator simultaneously has never spoken to anyone romantically in their lives and also fucks.
Dragons have neverending arguments about idle games which seem painfully generic and interchangeable to anything on two legs. Swarm Simulator Simulator, Multiversal Paperclips, Urban Dead, that sort of thing. In reality the games are just an occasional distraction, and what they’re really addicted to are those years-long threads of snippy factional elitism about the games. Dragons routinely get banned from MOBA forums for being the absolute worst accounts that technically never break the rules. They bicker about the meta like they’re experts hiding behind toons. They have literally never played the game.
Liches are the ones getting wound-up by dragons in all those forums. Unironic edgelords with giant signatures and arcane medals below their ooh-so-spooky avatars. Any account created a month before the game launched, chewing out some friendly newbie for not knowing something the developer mentioned once on IRC, then getting tilted when a lizard-themed sockpuppet incorrectly nitpicks their grammar? Lich. They are of course the most toxic players in any game they hyperfixate on, because they’ll never, ever get banned. Through unnatural rituals like privately befriending the programmers, they are beyond consequence. They can still be spotted on chan boards saying shit that no mortal moderator could excuse. Ironically none of them play Urban Dead because they consider the revival mechanics insensitive.
Fairies are the squeaky shit-talkers in hypercompetitive shooter lobbies. They are genuinely terrifying where twitch reactions matter. Fairies can rinse through Nuketown with twin shotguns while playing on DK Bongos. Their contentious relationship with humanity arises primarily from not respecting any strategy besides “Rush B.”
Dark Elves fucking love Among Us. Any backstabbing accusatory “social deduction” game is right up their alley. Dark Elves have GMod Murder variants where there is only one innocent and you win by killing them last.
Tabaxi committed like half the funding for Star Citizen. Any game with exploration and arbitrage makes their pupils go wide.
Warforged adore racing games because they don’t understand there’s a little man inside the car.
Vampire visual novels are the trashiest purple fanfiction on the internet. Vampires support an industry you’d swear was taking the piss, but they can literally smell insincerity. Some extremely old money goes to teenagers and spinsters with incomprehensibly naive views of romance. Somehow they build the most meticulously-crafted storylines imaginable. Popular streamers occasionally play these as a joke, and the utterly gripping emotional intensity can turn them into “RenPyFields.”
Half-elves are too busy stanning HoloLive to play games.
Why you gotta do Half Elves like that…
Look, if there’s fantasy racism, there’s fantasy weebs.
Zany uberviolent team shooters about bugs sounds a whole lot like Deep Rock Galactic.
Or its weirder, older cousin, Earth Defense Force
To save our mother Earth from any alien attack!
From vicious giant insects who have once again come back!
There’s also the newish Starship Troopers: Extermination
I interpreted ‘bugs’ as ‘glitches’ rather than creepy crawlies.
Goblins are just juvenile dwarves.
Missing dwarf pve shooter. We fight for rock and stone!
Many play Minecraft in dwarf mode
ROCK
AND
STONE
We’re rich!
Feels correct to suggest platformers as a human game. Human wowed by jumping between two platforms while the elves are like “you can do that on between trees in real life” dwarves “you ever jumped a fissure?”
The factory must grow
The city must survive
The magma must flow (downstairs through the entirety of the fortress)
Kenku video games: Palworld.
In browser flash games? How old is this meme?
Flashpoint is a thing, and orcs are usually regarded as not as technological as other races in fiction so it kinda tracks that they would still be playing flash games
For orcs, then never went away. Waagh.
Some of us never left the 80s
