I bought myself some more clothes, in addition to the skirt I have, and got a slightly more fem haircut and I was expecting a boost in euphoria, but instead… nothing. the only thing is that dysphoria was reduced, is it normal? maybe will hrt help here?
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Euphoria / dysphoria are a result from satisfaction / dissatisfaction out of something new you’re trying out gender related. Eventually you will feel less of those, and that’s ok. At the end of it all what matters is you feel comfortable about yourself. That you feel, you.
In my experience, the euphoria I felt at the beginning was huge. From small things like making a femme character in a game and dressing her up in little outfits. Shaving and having a smooth face would do it, too. Big smiles and glee.
Over time, the feeling of being constantly awash in dysphoria lessened, and those feelings are a bit more “normal”, in a way. Like … Making a femme character now is the default. It’s who I am and almost always what I will spring for.
Also, I got laser hair removal and my face is much smoother by default now, and I only have to shave every few days to cut off the white hairs.
Those feelings of joy are still there, but they’re so common it takes something huge to make me feel the same “level” of euphoria I did in the past.
But dysphoria hits harder imo since it’s much more rare.
HRT helped me a lot with this, less because of the physical effects, and more the mental. I had a lot of depression start lifting when I started HRT and it helped me feel things more strongly. The euphoria hit harder, as the dysphoria faded.
Huge disclaimer here, tho. “your mileage may very” is VERY real. No one account from any other girl’s HRT journey was just like mine.
The hard part will be figuring out what makes YOU feel the best and push towards that. This is your journey, and if that journey needs you to just reduce your dysphoria a bit before you can find your joy, then take pleasure in that feeling of being you.
Always remember also that gender isn’t binary. Testing out new looks can be helpful. Maybe your euphoria can be found in more gender non conforming looks, or nonbinary aesthetics. Maybe not idk.
The good news is that it’s up to you. Good luck, cat! <3
so real, yeah its definetly diminished over time and needs something huge, but idk what
That’s the hard part. Find out what makes you happy and pursue that. Try different stuff and experiment.
It’s gonna vary from person to person. Dysphoria and euphoria are not the same across the whole trans population, there’s people on all ends of the dysphoric and euphoric spectrums. Like some people feel little euphoria to their gender and just want to feel less dysphoric. Some people feel next to no dysphoria but feel a lot of euphoria when their gender is validated. Some people are entirely apathetic towards gender entirely. That being said euphoria for a lot of us is a mark of satisfaction with our gender and gender presentation.
That being said, I feel euphoria every day. When I see myself in the mirror, when I put on a nice outfit that suits me nicely. When I file my nails and paint them, when I shave my legs, when I do my skincare or haircare. Really, any time I feel well connected to my own femininity. When I feel girly or am doing girly parts of my day to day life.
I’m also coming up on 9 years hrt and a year post op, though. I never used to find euphoria came to me this easily. I definitely understand what you mean by just feeling less dysphoric. I think if you’re interested in pursuing HRT, then it may help some. It definitely did for me.
For me personally, it has varied a lot over time. I’ve been on HRT for three years. Last year, I reached a “stalled” point in my transition, where it felt like I wasn’t making any progress. But my goodness, six months later my boobs are bigger and rounder, I seem to be getting actual curves, and I have so many tasks I’m working on: voice therapy, surgery consultations, began learning makeup, electrolysis, just bought a bunch of outfits I like, and I’m going out in public as my true self - a woman!
I’m feeling euphoria every day now, whereas a year ago it was rare. I recommend not chasing euphoria, but enjoy it when it comes, and otherwise try to live in a comfortable and authentic way for yourself. Build as much of a support network as possible, because it’s hard to do this alone. From my partner to my doctors, therapists, friends and allies along the way, they have all helped me find the courage to do this, to fight the dysphoria and discover the euphoria :)
When you are doing something for the second+ time, it is quite normal to not have as much euphoria as the first time. When I first bought femme clothes and put them on I felt super euphoric but the second and third time not so much, because it ends up just becoming a normal thing.
