I agree, kids don’t get taught a lot of really important social skills (regardless of gender.) A lot of parents seem to think that just putting their kid around other kids is going to magically teach them social skills. I admit, growing up with undiagnosed autism may have me biased here, but I also work with autistic kids and part of my job is to teach them social skills. Not every child has this resource, and although I do my best to guide the little ones I work with, I know that even neurotypical kids are thrown to the wilds, by parents who refuse to intervene in issues because “they have to figure it out themselves.”

To a degree, I get it - kids need to learn how to solve their own problems independently, especially as they get older. But if parents don’t provide any structure at all when a kid is young, where are the kids going to learn from? Other kids. Other kids who likely also haven’t been given sufficient guidance on how to problem-solve social issues.

We need to do better for our children. We need to reinforce pro-social behavior whenever possible. I don’t wait for my (work) kids to independently share their toys, but when another kid plays with something my kid really likes, I get ahead of potential issues by telling my kid, “I love how you’re sharing your music box with so-and-so!” It makes a big difference in how they react, and goes to show that providing a bit of proactive praise now and then can go a long way toward building good social habits.