Blowjobs are an honest living thats why 😤

The singular of dice was originally “douse”, similar to mouse and mice, named for its usage to put out fires.

Today, most people have stopped lighting open flames in their homes but the practice of metaphorically blowing out a candle remained as a vestigial cultural artifact of being unable to literally douse a flame. There are still some diehard conservatives, however, who insist on doing this literally, which is believed to be the cause of the poor billionaires losing their California homes this winter.

They’re very hot when you take them out of the microwave

The dice want to land face down on the sides with my disgusting breath on them in order to wipe it off

if you give dice an erection on the right spot it influences how they roll

They’re adding +1 Wind Elemental Damage to their rolls.

is that michael rappaport?

In their natural habitat the primary predator of most species of dice are air compressors. Dice have evolved a suite of physical and psychological traits to adapt to the unique challenges they face (the dots instead of numbers is to confuse staplers, another species dice struggle against).

Blowing on both wild-caught and domesticated dice triggers a multifaceted response meant to help them survive attacks from air compressors. Players often believe that agitated dice roll higher but this is simply not the case and studies have shown that blowing has no effect on roll outcomes.

Being blown on is extremely stressful for dice and is associated with increased risk of heart failure, emotional disorders, and lowered life expectancy. Generally speaking, wild specimens have been observed entering this air compressor survival state only around five times their whole life. Whereas domestic varieties will be made to endure it hundreds or thousands of times, their bodies are simply not made to go through this.

Blowing on dice is cruel and pointless. Don’t do it.

I think the whole point is just so dudes playing craps can flirt with hot ladies smoking cigarettes on long black holders standing next to the table.

getting moisture on increases chances they would stick to the surface on the correct side

Gotta cool those babies off 🌬

They’re a metaphor for balls.

well you wouldn’t want to burn your tongue on a hot pair of dice, now would you?

Gets the failure dust off of them

Tumbling dice are governed by the laws of physics, which are deterministic. The outcome is predetermined by the motion of the atoms within the dice and the air, and whether you win or lose cannot be altered, before the dice even hit the table.

When you blow on the dice, the breath comes of your own will, from the action of your mind and soul, which physics cannot explain and is non-deterministic. By blowing, you are introducing true randomness into the motion of the atoms (not the fake pseudo-randomness of stochastic mechanics!). This is the only time that luck can come into play. If your soul has strong aura, then you can use your breath to imbibe the dice with good luck and win for sure.