I’m 34, and i feel hopeless, ive been in relationships that don’t work out and i end up hurting myself, and i find it really hard to find someone who likes the same things as me, and i blame it on my socioeconomic status and my looks. I try to find somewhere to put the blame, but it’s obvious that it’s me.

  • PunkiBas@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    4 days ago

    I felt like this after the ending of a reeally long relationship, in the end what worked was actually to stop trying so hard.

    I came to the conclusion that no relationship lasts forever, and instead of trying so hard to find someone that really gets me, I started caring more about what I wanted and what I enjoyed.

    I started seeing relationships more like, well this may work or not, but I’m having fun till now, I’ll enjoy it until I stop enjoying it and after that, no hard feelings, it just didn’t work and that’s fine.

    You have to know that you are a whole person by yourself, you don’t really need someone else to complete you, or depend on them. You have to learn to love yourself. If you can muster that confidence to manage that, you’ll find that people will find you more attractive, no matter your looks.

    • MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
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      4 days ago

      This is me rn after a 12 year relationship breakup. I have a hot GF now and I equally enjoy just being home alone than with her or friends. It’s about me now.

  • ProdigalFrog@slrpnk.netEnglish
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    5 days ago

    What sort of person are you looking for? Liking the same things isn’t necessarily a requirement. I think values, humor, and personality can overcome a lack of shared interests (or where maybe just a handful overlap).

    EDIT: this lawyer gives some pretty damn solid advice on finding soneone.

  • LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
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    5 days ago

    I guess enjoy your passions and try to meet people who share the same interested. Don’t focus on the gender or finding a date. Just enjoy yourself. Then, maybe you’ll be happy and alone!

    Hah. Or maybe find someone idk

  • jet@hackertalks.comEnglish
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    5 days ago

    First be happy with yourself.

    Then, and only then, can you be happy with other people who are happy to just vibe with you.

    • GBU_28@lemm.eeEnglish
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      5 days ago

      This. It’s like interviewing. Even if you really need the work, you’ll be more confident and more engaging if you approach the interview like you are vetting them