You might not have intended it but your other post feels like bait. Is this the first time this has ever happened to you? I step to the side a lot and am a woman. I have friends of all genders who do this. It’s imho a strange thing to post about in the first place and then you asked specifically for male feedback. You also mentioned your outfit and posted a picture of it. If you thought only men could offer insight and that what you looked like would be relevant then the conclusion about it being covid related seems at odds with that. It looks like some comments are just pointing that out. No one deserves hate or shade for posting what you posted though and I see someone had their comment removed and someone started bringing up transphobia. Im sorry to see that happened.

As an aside, I do think it’s fine if men want to give women additional space. Men don’t have to think of themselves as a threat in order to do that. When I’m walking dogs I will do the same thing. Not because I think the dog is potentially dangerous or anything. I just don’t know if that person wants to be close to a dog so I make a point of stepping aside. It’s courteous. Not everyone does it and it’s not mandatory but it’s fine if they do. I do it myself if it’s late sometimes and I’m passing a child or almost anyone who is smaller than me. I want them to know that I see them and am cognizant of their space.

I was about to post but then I read the comments and this is just exactly what I would’ve posted. I moved around a bit in STEM and this is my exact experience in any male dominated STEM field. Some STEM fields that are more 50/50 operate so well that it makes the tech portion stand out even more. I think part of it is that tech as we see it today is still relatively new and so fast paced that people don’t even know what makes a good employee much less manager.

90% of the men I worked with were fantastic and friendly but most of those 90% were unable or unwilling to step up when there were issues with the other 10%. I worked somewhere with almost daily harassment from a techbro guy and although others were willing to admit it was a problem behind closed doors it was all just blank stares from them when I said anything to him.

Elon Musk is my go to when I have to explain it. Basically no one that actually works in tech is like him but somehow he’s still at the top. He knows nothing about the day to day but does just enough to ruin things. People still work for him though and look the other way when he does terrible things because he is the boss. If guys like him didn’t exist tech would be a fine industry.

Thanks for sharing! I have some chips left over from another recipe and I’ve been thinking about what to do with them. Looking forward to trying this tonight!

This is a simple one that I still get a craving for every once in a while: https://www.everyplate.com/recipes/beef-shepherds-pie-62f1622f2c02226365032497

I try to minimize my consumption of red meat but you can adjust the proportion or replace it with meat substitutes and it’s still really good.

Would you be willing to share the recipe? I have made them a few times for holidays and I find that I just can’t compete with store bought. I like most my other pies more than store bought pies but apple is just so particular.

Women only spaces have been a popular and important part of feminist and women’s movement globally. It’s ok if it’s not right for you but it’s reductive to act like it serves no purpose. It’s important for marginalized communities to be able to gather and discuss their experiences.

I think it’s nice that the mod has given their time to fostering a community of women supporting women and it’s insulting for you to call it insane. It’s part of a long tradition of women carving out space for themselves. She’s not mandating you participate. Just politely asking people to follow the rules. It’s like calling it insane that a book club only allow people who have read the book to talk about it. Others can listen in and talk about it elsewhere if needed but book club is for people who read the book to discuss it with other people who also read it.

Just a basic overview if you’re honestly unfamiliar with the concept: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-only_space

I am OP. I said nothing about inclusive or exclusive spaces. The brackets in my title were added because it’s a community rule and I was understandably asked to add that.

What in the post suggests anything about inclusive or exclusive anything? I was noticing a pattern and sharing my annoyance at it. I also shared what I believe to be the cause of the pattern. I did not say it shouldn’t be allowed or that they were bad people. I also made it clear I didn’t believe it to be sexism and that the gender of the person I would originally be speaking to seemed largely irrelevant. Not sure how this would be interpreted as exclusionary.

You’re probably right. Plus I’m so confrontation averse I don’t think I would send it regardless.

Yes. I think remember one where people read a story and the name was changed and when it was a male name they gave positive words like leader and decisive and with a female name it was negative like pushy and demanding.

This isn’t exactly what I was talking about but came up immediately on a search: https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2014/12/10/study-finds-gender-perception-affects-evaluations

I’m glad they federated. I would not have found this community otherwise and Lemmy is so small I don’t think it’d make sense to make the community harder to find. I wonder if they can set up a flared users only situation. I’m not sure what things look like on the mod side of Lemmy though.

I look forward to seeing it!

I should have gone the hammer route. Mine is a very small press that fits in your hand and I don’t have the grip strength. Idk who would lol.

I totally get the concern. I did the hardware on my latest project first for that exact reason 😅 I almost ruined an entire piece because I messed up a grommet and decided never again lol

That’s so sweet! I actually picked it up to make a friend a toy!

I have not looked into groups yet. I’m still pretty new to it and I’m involved in a lot of groups already just none that are craft related. I don’t think I’d have time for another group and I’d feel guilty just showing up for one meeting and asking for help and potentially never going back lol. I figure I’ll keep at it for a bit longer before trying that route. Thank you for the suggestion though!

Agree all around. I saw a thread recently about street harassment and men were just circlejerking about how women are the ones targeting them 🙄

I tried to start an all female gaming server recently but of course I got a bunch of responses from men explaining how that’s sexist and some other presumably well meaning guys that explained that they are feminists and understand if I don’t want men but would be happy to join if I ever wanted additional people. It’s hard to explain that messaging in the first place regardless of if they were nice about it is an issue. I said women only and I meant women only. They clearly saw that and still replied. I understand they were polite but that’s really not the point.

Looks fantastic and professionally done. I really struggled with the hardware elements of my latest project. Can I ask what you used to secure it? I have one of the hand press tools but I can’t fully depress it 😭

The basic stitches are fine but I’m having difficultly finding people who break the more complicated ones down to the level I need it. I’ll get to a place where I think I’m doing it right but it’s clearly not once I get some stitches in and I don’t quite know what I’ve done wrong yet. I don’t have anyone irl who crochets so I feel like I’m lacking the kind of generational knowledge that would easily be able to point out what I’m doing wrong. I’m still learning so it’s to be expected and I haven’t gone too deep into YouTube tutorials just yet so we’ll see how it goes. In my opinion it’s nicer than sewing because the setup is nonexistent and it doesn’t require as much of my full attention. I can’t watch videos while sewing only listen to them but I’m finding myself able to crochet while watching things. It also feels a lot more personal. I’ve made sewn gifts for friends and even though I spent a lot of time picking out the fabrics and hardware and finishings, there something that feels different when every stitch of the fabric itself was done by you.

If you’d be willing to share a mood board or preliminary sketches/ideas, I’m sure we’d love to see it. I love the motifs of books and apocalypse together. Something about how integral they become when everything else crumbles, and how sacred knowledge is really speaks to me. Idk if this makes sense but it always gives me a more alt style cottagecore vibes.

Yea, I looked through some previous posts on this community and guys seem to be negatively responding to the mod when she politely informs them not to comment. They are the ones breaking the rules and when she tells them they get mad. Really sad to see.

I agree regarding the blocking, but it sucks because a bunch of other guys don’t understand why. So when I want to play a team game and I tell people in a relevant gaming space that I don’t play with a specific person it looks like I’m the bad guy. I know I’m not in the wrong, but now I’m stuck either alienating potential friends if I don’t explain further or spending time and energy explaining something they may not understand. It’s exhausting. I know that the guys aren’t trying to be rude when they ask why, but it’s alienating. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, but male dominated online spaces can be rough even if the majority are relatively normal. Unless they go the extra step from normal to actually understanding the female perspective they are almost contributing to the issue. It’s not a if you’re not with me you’re against me thing, but it really feels like if you’re not with me from the start it’s an uphill battle.

Omg. So true. I’ve seen that meme around but never put it in this context. It really does exemplify the issue. I don’t want to seem like I don’t care about others opinions, but time and place are so important. I’m definitely just gonna start sending this. I think it gets the point across without being too specific or requiring a full write up about how in this specific context their comment was not necessary.

Done! Thank you 🙏