Let. Others. Decide.

I have a cultural aversion to self-service. Well, OK, some forms of self-service are fine. (“Mr. Shakey” is my favourite tool for this. 😉) But social self-service is more for others to decide.

<snob>No, I meant tea, not tea dust.</snob>

🤭

<snob>Where do you even get tea in the UK?!</snob>

😉

Born in Germany as a Canadian citizen and now resident in China.

There’s a general pattern here.

When women are subservient and “in their place” the fashions are women with “some meat on their bones”. You know. “Zaftig.”

When women get a hint of self-reliance and power, suddenly the beauty standard changes. People held up as an icon of beauty are suddenly “fat” and “disgusting”. Only women who look like they’re starving themselves are attractive.

This is a pattern that once you see you can’t unsee.

#ManOrBear?

The two words that did this for me: weight training. Just don’t do exercises for fast-twitch muscles. That will make you look like a mutant. Go for the slow-moving, endurance-building exercises. They barely show, but wow is the difference in your life profound!

In 2020 I hit a dark stretch. (Something I can never understand. I mean why would being locked into a small apartment living in absolute dread for two months possibly impact me negatively!?) During the lockdown I got into eating whether I was hungry or not. It continued afterward and I continued for a good while. Finally in October 2022 a former student of mine who’d just opened a small gym suggested I train under him. By this point I was a good amount over my former weight, and I was feeling it. So had you asked me this in October, I’d have said “a whole lot!”.

After lifting three times a week religiously for two years I was back at my former comfy weight and a whole lot stronger and with a whole lot more endurance than I’d ever had before. So now? Despite occasional fluctuations when I overindulge or slack off on my maintenance training, my weight doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Mine started fine.

Probably my bamboo scroll of 茶经 (The Classic of Tea). SO sprung that on me one day out of the blue. It’s been the centrepiece of my tea photo essays and of any fancy tea setups I have with guests ever since.

I thankfully learned before the Internet was a big thing that pictures, once unleashed, have a habit of popping up again. I can’t even imagine learning that lesson in an age where your pictures circulate the globe unchecked in minutes.

There are maybe … five? … pictures of me available on the Internet right now. None of them are associated with any of my surviving online identities. There’s a reason for this that predates AI.

Now? It’s doubly important, IMO, that people do not associate pictures of themselves with any online identity they value.

Sad world.

I have, but quit doing so about 25 years ago.

Never have I ever played any game on the PSIII or higher, nor on any variant of a XBox, nor on any Nintendo device other than a DS.

I’m with you here.

Never have I ever stolen money from my mother’s purse.

It’s also a paean to “sisterhood” (not literal) which adds to the appeal for me.

Here’s a translation, best I can manage, of the lyrics (paired with the original). Since this is a conversation I’ve made it like a play’s script. Where noted, Isabelle Huang sometimes sings in Shanghaiese; I’ve tried to change the register of the translation at those points but I’m not sure if that comes across. Difficult concepts or important symbols I’ve footnoted.

Yes. I’m more than a little obsessive. Sue me!

娄 (Lou)

檀香薰衣草
抓一把味道
香囊绣年少
辰砂 风随舞飘
煮酒熬尘嚣
相思 一分一秒
酒不醉今宵
换盏破晓
侬

Sandalwood¹ and lavender²,
I gather a handful of their fragrance.
Sachets embroidered with memories of youth,
Cinnabar³, drifting as the wind dances.
Brewing wine to simmer away the world’s noise,
Longing, measured out in every moment.
Tonight, the wine cannot intoxicate me;
We change cups until dawn breaks.
You—

黄 (Huang)

字字珠玑 绕乱内心涟漪
侬
看准时机 戳破他的叹息

Every word is a gem, stirring ripples in my heart.
You—
Seizing the moment, you pierce through his sighs.

娄 (Lou)

谁的胡琴 拔断日月光阴
我的手心 还有你扣紧
金钗杏靥 有你在身边
胭脂红颜

Whose huqin⁴ has plucked apart the days and nights?
My palm still holds yours, tightly clasped.
With golden hairpins⁵ and dimpled cheeks, you’re by my side—
Rouge upon a youthful face.

黄 (Huang) — 上海话 (Shanghainese)

侬了组撒啦
吾了窝里香呀
了窝里相组撒拉
了窝里香发花痴呀
个么册来白相伐啦
阿拉切切夜饭嘎嘎三胡
侬朋友 伐嘎啦
还是要吾做的电灯泡啦

You are ever so delightful;
I am the fragrance of home.
You, the joy within my hearth;
The scent of home makes one quite lovesick.
Shall we not while away the hours in gentle amusement?
Let us, perchance, share supper and pass the evening in cheerful discourse.
Are you, then, my friend?
Or am I, after all, but the third wheel⁶ in your story?

黄 (Huang)

弄堂的巷子口
缝一件烟罗裙
穿一缕如意云
啊
囡囡啊 一生只爱一人
囡囡啊 一世只为沸腾
沐浴四季的怨恨
与你陪衬
灵

At the mouth of the alley,
I sew a gauzy dress,
Slip on a wisp of auspicious cloud⁷.
Ah—
Girl, in this life I love only one,
Girl, in this world I live only for passion.
Bathed in the grievances of all four seasons,
I stand beside you,
Spirit—

娄 (Lou)

字字珠玑 绕乱内心涟漪
灵
看准时机 戳破他的叹息

Every word is a gem, stirring ripples in my heart.
Spirit—
Seizing the moment, you pierce through his sighs.

黄 (Huang)

谁的胡琴 拔断日月光阴
我的手心 还有你扣紧
金钗杏靥 有你在身边
胭脂红颜

Whose huqin has plucked apart the days and nights?
My palm still holds yours, tightly clasped.
With golden hairpins and dimpled cheeks, you’re by my side—
Rouge upon a youthful face.

黄 (Huang) — 上海话 (Shanghainese)

侬了组撒啦
吾了窝里香呀
了窝里相组撒拉
了窝里香发花痴呀
个么册来白相伐啦
阿拉切切夜饭嘎嘎三胡
侬朋友 伐嘎啦
还是要吾做的电灯泡啦

You are ever so delightful;
I am the fragrance of home.
You, the joy within my hearth;
The scent of home makes one quite lovesick.
Shall we not while away the hours in gentle amusement?
Let us, perchance, share supper and pass the evening in cheerful discourse.
Are you, then, my friend?
Or am I, after all, but the third wheel in your story?

娄 (Lou)

一生只爱一人
有谁为我在沸腾
金兰 易结不易散 推开世俗的城门

In this life, I love only one.
Who else burns with passion for me?
Sisterhood⁸ is easily formed, yet not easily broken—let us push open the gates of the mundane world.

黄 (Huang)

未来有多远
随你一路去荣烟
把酒欢歌啊 这人间

How far does the future stretch?
With you, I’ll go wherever the road leads.
Let us raise a glass and sing with joy—ah, this world of ours!

黄 (Huang) — 上海话 (Shanghainese)

侬了组撒啦
吾了窝里香呀
了窝里相组撒拉
了窝里香发花痴呀
个么册来白相伐啦
阿拉切切夜饭嘎嘎三胡
侬朋友 伐嘎啦
还是要吾做的电灯泡啦
侬了组撒啦
侬了组撒啦
侬了组撒啦

You are ever so delightful;
I am the fragrance of home.
You, the joy within my hearth;
The scent of home makes one quite lovesick.
Shall we not while away the hours in gentle amusement?
Let us, perchance, share supper and pass the evening in cheerful discourse.
Are you, then, my friend?
Or am I, after all, but the third wheel in your story?
You are ever so delightful,
You are ever so delightful,
You are ever so delightful.

Footnotes

1. Sandalwood (檀香): In Chinese culture, sandalwood is not just a fragrance but a symbol of purity, spirituality, and tranquility. It is widely used in incense, religious rituals, and literature to evoke a sense of calm, sacredness, and connection to the divine[1][2][3][4][6][7][8].
2. Lavender (薰衣草): While globally known for its calming scent, in Chinese and Buddhist symbolism, lavender also represents purity, protection, and a bridge between the earthly and the spiritual[5].
3. Cinnabar (辰砂): A bright red mineral (mercury sulfide) historically used in Chinese art, alchemy, and medicine. It symbolizes vitality, protection, and sometimes immortality, but also carries connotations of mystery and the esoteric.
4. Huqin (胡琴): A traditional Chinese bowed string instrument, similar to a fiddle or violin, often used in Chinese opera and folk music. The sound of the huqin is associated with deep emotion and nostalgia.
5. Golden hairpins (金钗): Traditional Chinese hair ornaments, often worn by women as symbols of beauty, femininity, and sometimes status or marital affection.
6. Third wheel (电灯泡): In Chinese slang, “being a light bulb” means being the awkward extra person when two people are together romantically—what English speakers call a “third wheel.”
7. Auspicious cloud (如意云): Cloud motifs in Chinese art symbolize good fortune, harmony, and the celestial. Wearing “a wisp of auspicious cloud” is poetic for donning luck and grace.
8. Sisterhood (金兰): “Jinlan” (golden orchid) refers to a sworn sisterhood, a bond of deep, chosen friendship that is considered as strong as family.

OK, this one is going to be tough to explain. I’ll start with pictures:

These are two variants of 陈年八仙果 (chén nián bā xiān guǒ or “Aged Eight Immortals Fruit”). Basically you hollow out a pomelo, fill it with a mixture of plum pulp, tangerine peel, assorted spices (including licorice), and salt. Then you dry it until it’s dense. You cut it up into those wedges you see above and … well … you eat it.

Or you make tea with it.

Or you chop it up finely and use it to flavour meat dishes.

But mostly you just eat it as a snack.

The VW bug got big because it was a decent car at an affordable price.

Neither of these hold true for Tesla.

He got the information he needed, destroyed the departments that were investigating him. He’s good.

…

Not a problem! I enjoy spreading pain! 😀