After my first semester of college I started getting depressed. I didn’t know it was depression at the time…but it’s very obvious in retrospect.
At some point I had to sell a car. By matter of coincidence, a few years later I found a blog by the buyer about his progress in restoring the car (of all things, a 1990 Volvo 740GL Wagon…not really an impressive car except that it cannot be killed. But I guess there’s a niche for everyone on the Internet).
In it he had a post about the day he picked up the car. My dad handled the transaction with this complete stranger and apparently my dad felt the need to vent for 10 minutes about how much of a deadbeat loser I was.
I wasn’t trying to be a deadbeat loser at the time. I was just severely depressed, and they were completely ignorant of it. Even when I said I think I’m depressed, they said in typical boomer fashion to get up on time and take a walk and I’d magically feel better. And that was the same advice I got from my damn doctor.
So must be cool for your parents to think you’re cool. Now I make it a point to avoid talking to them as much as possible. Not quite no-contact, just a bit of anxiety leading up to calling them, and a bit of a letdown when they call me and it’s not to tell me one of them is dead.
I’m sorry you found that. It must’ve been hard to read it and feel that betrayal. And I’m sorry your parents weren’t able to recognize your depression and instead made it into a character flaw.
I worked so hard to impress my parents.
After my first semester of college I started getting depressed. I didn’t know it was depression at the time…but it’s very obvious in retrospect.
At some point I had to sell a car. By matter of coincidence, a few years later I found a blog by the buyer about his progress in restoring the car (of all things, a 1990 Volvo 740GL Wagon…not really an impressive car except that it cannot be killed. But I guess there’s a niche for everyone on the Internet).
In it he had a post about the day he picked up the car. My dad handled the transaction with this complete stranger and apparently my dad felt the need to vent for 10 minutes about how much of a deadbeat loser I was.
I wasn’t trying to be a deadbeat loser at the time. I was just severely depressed, and they were completely ignorant of it. Even when I said I think I’m depressed, they said in typical boomer fashion to get up on time and take a walk and I’d magically feel better. And that was the same advice I got from my damn doctor.
So must be cool for your parents to think you’re cool. Now I make it a point to avoid talking to them as much as possible. Not quite no-contact, just a bit of anxiety leading up to calling them, and a bit of a letdown when they call me and it’s not to tell me one of them is dead.
I’m sorry you found that. It must’ve been hard to read it and feel that betrayal. And I’m sorry your parents weren’t able to recognize your depression and instead made it into a character flaw.
I’m sorry your parents let you down like that. You deserve better. I hope you have more supportive people around you now.
Me too man, turns out they are just shitty parents.