Half of those literally only show up if you’re on them when you get the test lol
Ketamine goes away in 4-8 hours for most people.
This… most drugs can’t be detected unless they’re currently in your system. Give it 24-48 hours and your test will be clean. Marijuana is one of the few that can appear in urine weeks after using it, and that’s usually if you have a fair amount of body fat. The skinnier you are, the shorter period it’s traceable.
Let’s see him submit to a hair test.
Well I didn’t see him piss in the cup so I refuse to believe this. We must see him pee to ensure he didn’t use a bag of piss.
Thanks to the ScreenyWeeny™️, we can’t even trust that anymore.
He apparently hires people to do other shit for him and lies about it, so I will consider this no different
Whose pee was it?
The Lab Director’s name is literally D Coy lol
Though I’m sure this report is bullshit due to money or other reasons, it’s a real person
Let’s not go full MAGA numerology/astrology conspiracy shit lol
Holy shit 😂
Can’t beat that.
Dr. D Coy
I thought he was on record saying that he regularly takes ketamine therapeutically.
He got better.
At what?
At taking ketamine
😂
One study published in the International Journal of Legal Medicine found that ketamine can be detected in hair up to 4 months after a single dose.11 Ketamine and its metabolites were also detected in scalp samples collected by a wet cotton swab up to 48 hours after administration of the drug. In a study of urine samples collected from hospitalized children who had received ketamine as an anesthetic, ketamine could be detected in the urine up to 11 days after drug administration and its metabolites could be detected for up to 14 days.12
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/ketamine-abuse/how-long-does-ketamine-stay-in-your-system
So he went 11 days free of ketamine?
What? Oh god no. He bought clean pee. Probably while on Special K.
This is the way my boss told me to do it to make sure I passed.
How did this dud ever get mistaken for a genius?
Never liked him to begin with, but back then I saw him as a visionary. Seems he has been having visions all along.
My theory: he used to put out press releases about how amazing he is.
Many drugs permanently alter your brain. He could’ve been smart at some point but he just took too many/the wrong drugs. Now his intelligence is low enough that he thought it would be cool to hang out with Trump.
…but let’s be honest: You don’t get that rich by being smart. You get that rich by being lucky (and a total scumbag).
All accounts say that he was never particularly bright or capable.
Cuz he was quieter. When I used to think he might be smart is when I never watched any of his interviews or read any of his tweets.
Better to keep your mouth shut and be called a fool than to open it and prove them right.
My assumption is that he paid a meme troll group to make propaganda about him.
I’ve literally seen “memes” claiming he was some kind of genius because of an attached video of some guy cutting a carton box to fit an object in during a packaging job.
Pretty sure mr “my dad owns stakes in an emerald mine” never did any manual labour in his life.
Specimen type: Urine
How do we know he used his own urine?
He wanted to, but unfortunately it burned right through the container and the fumes made the lab tech high as a kite.
I think we all know that he did not
“We don’t know if it was in fact his urine. Um, you can’t, like, dust for urine.” - a prominent musician
The same piss test also showed Elon is pregnant.
Cutting out the surrogate.
They also did a DNA test and found out that Elon is in fact not a good boy 🐶 but instead is a lazy bastard who sleeps all day on a sunny spot and plots for your demise. 🐱
Doesn’t that indicate testicular cancer?
Don’t worry, it will probably reject him & not want to ever talk to him.
Dies anyone see any kind of date on there? Because I don’t.
Did you look? The sample date is on the top right and the date and time that it was printed is on the bottom left.
Well I for one am perfectly convinced that patient TX45788288 is clean and free of drugs. Of course, I don’t really know who that is. Probably isn’t Musk though. Even if it is, I’m quite sure that he could easily find someone to piss in a cup for him for a million or so. Hell, I hate the dirt bag and I would have done it for a million bucks.
Also, I would never impute the integrity of Jennifer Taylor of Fastest Labs of South Austin, but I think maybe her boss should check to see if she suddenly jumped into a new tax bracket.
Why pay a milion? Just make his kid piss in the cup, he already carries the poor thing with him everywhere.
You know how some people carry water bottles with them all the time? Same thing with musk and that kid. He just decants it when he needs fluids.
Nah probably is him, with just a teensy bit of photoshop.
Not to mention that the drugs he’s accused of abusing don’t usually stay in your system for a long time.
Specifically urine. I’d love for hair and blood tests like those that get fucked by the “war on drugs” go through
Can you expound on this?
Sure. Ketamine, shrooms, and molly (or MDMA) were the primary substances the inside sources claimed he was abusing over the last year.
Shrooms never show up on a urine test, as far as I’m aware. Ketamine and MDMA only remain detectable in urine for a week or two, sometimes as long as a month for those with really high BMI, very low activity levels, or a slow metabolism. So, he’d simply have to stop taking drugs for a couple weeks and he’d likely piss clean. This test wouldn’t disprove any of the claims that he was rampantly abusing drugs during Trump’s campaign or while “working/consulting” at DOGE (he only left government “service” a few weeks ago).
Besides all of that, there are tons of ways to easily defeat a urine drug test. You can literally walk into just about any headshop (stores that sell devices to smoke marijuana, e.g. bowls, vapes, bongs, etc) and they will almost certainly sell fake penises that come preloaded with “fake urine” that can pass a drug test. You wear the fake penis contraption like a garter belt under your boxers/underwear and when you go in for the urine test, you simply aim the fake penis into the cup and use whichever method that product has for dispensing its contents.
And that is just one method for getting around urine tests. The bottom line: There is literally no reason anyone should accept this “evidence” as proof that Elon Musk is not abusing drugs.
Thank you, that’s very interesting!
“Well, Mr. Musk, you’re not on drugs but you are pregnant.”
I would do it for 50K who are we kidding
In my defense I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it for less…
June 11th, we’ll have to check his tweets on that date during that time.
This is the petty internet i know and love.
Yep, the nazi deserves it.
I have seen enough blue mountain state to know oilchange is a thing.
The fact that you can conceive if paying someone $1M to pee in a cup is how I can tell you’re not rich. If you were, it would have been a few thousand at most but more likely to be a threat of some sort to compel the other person to help you.
This is as legitimate as his Path of Exile account.
Most of these drugs are pretty much undetectable after abstaining for a few days. Big deal. Negative cannabis use surprised me a little but he probably left it behind when he picked up his ketamine binge. That said who the hell advertises their test results like this wtf?
He has an army of neglected kids, do you really think he would stop using for a few days to use his own urine?
Assuming that he actually has been tested, or that this is his test results would be a mistake, regardless of whether he is on drugs or not. The man is as pathological a liar as Trump.
Fun story time: I once got informed of a drug test for a job I’d just accepted after a weekend of hard partying. I was on prescription opiods, Adderall, and ketamine. They called Monday morning at 9 to tell me I had to piss within 4 hours. I hadn’t even slept yet. I should have lit that test up like a Christmas tree for everything except thc. It came back clean. They never asked about my prescriptions. I have 2 theories. 1) they don’t actually test. 2) if too many things light up, they assume it’s a calibration issue.
Some drugs show up only if they’re currently in your system.
If they don’t send you to a lab for the test, it’s often just a scare tactic.
“Indestructible!”
Odds are good it lit up and whoever it was didn’t care.
“Wow, this guy’s on everything and still functions! We could use someone with that stamina. PASS.”
