Transition: 2001-2004. Fully stealth since 2002 (had sex reassignment surgery & changed all of my documents). My last transition procedure was voice feminization surgery.
Transition: 2001-2004. Fully stealth since 2002 (had sex reassignment surgery & changed all of my documents). My last transition procedure was voice feminization surgery.
I personally believe that the most important aspect of being stealth is legal stuff - getting all of your documents changed. Because “passing” is kind of a weird concept: there are masculine women, feminine women… I honestly “passed” as a woman even before starting HRT - long hair, makeup, clothes, mannerisms, these are all stereotypical / traditional gender signs that signal to people what gender you are, because we live in a binary world. Once my birth certificate and ID and all of that said F, there was nothing that anyone could do that could “expose” me. But yeah, passing does have its importance, and I was extremely lucky to be dealt a very good card - both genetics and the resources to have all the procedures I did. I think the core of what being stealth is, is people perceiving you straight up as your gender, without any seconds thoughts or suspicions. Basically not questioning what they see.
Ugh wrote 2 huge paragraphs but am on a flight & lost signal as I hit submit -.- will tldr this:
What are your thoughts on people encouraging kids under the age of 10 from questioning their gender? From the folks I’ve gotten into it with about the issues they have with trans folk, they seem fixated on that being monstrous. Which from what I’ve read, a lotta people who transition DO question their gender/have a feeling as young as 3-4.
Do you mean discouraging?
Nope, specifically cases where parents are encouraging that sorts stuff, or teachers/people online. The guy would frame it as something common enough to be a concern when it comes to the surgeries being legal point blank. I’ve since realized he was arguing in bad faith with a lotta shit :| though this is also the kinda person that claimed the civil war wasn’t about slavery after taking a community college American history class, so lmao.
I have a fundamental issue with this question. I don’t support encouraging anyone to question anything, be them kids or adults, but especially kids. I believe that a comfortable, safe and open space should always be made available to express these feelings if they arise on the other hand. Kids are so easily malleable, it’s why if for example there are suspicions of abuse, it’s highly discouraged to ask your kids questions on your own - a professional is required because they know how to gain this info from kids without having them altering the truth depending on how the questions are being asked. For kids encouraging them to question is essentially planting seeds of doubt in their mind. I have 2 kids, both 15, completely cisgender and heterosexual. It has never even once crossed my mind to encourage them to question their gender, sexuality or whatever. That’s their business, their feelings. Not my place as a third party to encourage that. Those things if they are to come, come naturally and organically. Efficient communication and a good relationship is key.
I just don’t think people DO encourage prepuberty kids to question their gender often at all, at least in person, parents or otherwise. I’m sure it has happened, its just a stupidly rare edge case. That guy in question also thought a book should be banned in elementary school libraries if it depicts a graphic sexually toned make out scene, and that kids shouldn’t be exposed to discussions involving sexuality & gender until they’re near puberty age. What are your thoughts on that? Appreciate your perspective.
My thoughts are that sex ed should be age appropriate. I’m a supporter of sex ed in schools.
What would you define as age appropriate based off what’s healthy for kids development? Ie, when do you think kids should be learning about sexuality beyond “X gender person can fall in love with X gender other person and it’s normal”. The ex friend I mentioned in the post thought it wasn’t appropriate to talk about gender sexual preferences until they’re like 11-12
You don’t have to make it about sexual preference until the kid is old enough to understand sex. Like you said, A loves B but sometimes B loves B and A loves A. It doesn’t have to be more complicated unless the kid is asking questions or is a bit older.
We have to remember that on the internet they’re going to learn all this stuff when we think they’re “too young” so it’s better they get it from a good source. My niece said she was gay when she was 12. She’s just turned 14 and has a boyfriend. We just have to accept things and give information.
As a personal anecdote: there are people in positions that missed the openness part and do want to push questioning style of their own agenda.
My son has down syndrome, so he got social supports through our schools and province. Part of that was a program to transition from highschool life to adulthood. Friends, jobs, training, assistance, planning and sexuality.
When we met the one social worker at the school, it became apparent she had that agenda I mentioned.
She jumped right into sexuality and asked if we knew his orientation. I said straight, he likes searching girls in bikinis on google, and he talks about getting a girlfriend, etc. She replied with maybe he is just echoing what he sees around him. Which I understand can happen, and I wanted to explain that his God Parents are a gay couple he has known all his life (so they would be role models etc), but she kept interrupting.
So anyway, he went to a sexuality course. When that was finishes he came home and said “I like boys now”. " I went to find a boyfriend, because I’m gay". So we are 100% OK if that is his true feeling, but we know he does not process info same as Normies.
New social worker gets involved later, he is working, etc. He is back to saying he likes women. So who knows, he could be bi /pan or any sliding spectrum, but pushing questions on a young child or late teen with a mental handicap just fucks with their sense of self artificially, rather than being open and it developing naturally.
As his dad I was doing the cooking, artsy stuff, non sporty guy. So that, and family gatherings with gay couples, he would see that gender roles and relations don’t have to match 1950s setup.