Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!
How were they enforcing this?
It’s just a tack on when they do search warrants… oh we did not find any drugs but we found 7 dildos… Off to prison!
That’s not a dildo, it’s a stirring stick.
They’ll know I’m breaking the law, because I’ll be flying my custom gadsen flag with 7 dildoes on it that reads “Come and count them”
That just lets people know you have dildos to steal
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?
There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.
Have you seen their politicians?
those are just plain ol’ dicks
I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.
Ever bring a dildo to a gun fight?
No, but there was the time someone brought a dildo wielding drone to a campaign event and attacked the Bernallio county Sheriff with a “dongcopter.”
LOL, how had I never heard of this before?
Source?
Sauce!
This dude knows where the purple dildo is in GTA Vice City.
Exactly!
As the 2015 New Zealand horror classic Deathgasm demonstrated, when you’re fresh out of guns, dildos are quite effective bludgeoning weapons against demon-possessed zombies.
yea that’d be a rookie mistake
Why are so many people using them in Walmart?
People like to sample the produce as they shop, granted it’s usually a bag of crisps or a handful of grapes but it’s the same… ballpark.
Long queues, nothing else to do……
I usually munch on a crisp refreshing onion while shopping.
Makes sense to me.
First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.
They came for the dildos…… and BOY did they came!!!
Because I was not a dildo
This has very strong “If I can’t make my wife come, nobody will
cumcome!” vibes.I think it’s got religious overtones. One per day except the sabbath, when you have to leave your holes free for God to enter. Like Mary did.
Didn’t cheat on her husband at all
Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I’d rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
Oh don’t worry. They’ll get around to doing that as well.
Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she’s very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State… it’s CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠
#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)
There are definitely some Texas billionaires that own more than six politicians.
Neo-puritanism needs to die. I’m getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control. We’re done with this shit.
At least none of these people should be violent. They can have their views. But law is always violent. So it has no business being an extension of anyone’s sexual views. If you violently impose your sexual perspective on others you are as good as a rapist in my book.
I’m getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control.
Only 33% of the US voting population actually voted against Trump who ran on a platform of control. You might be putting too much faith in the general population.
So I know what you mean and I agree, but there are plenty of sexual things that we would want outlawed because of our sexual perspective. Things like rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, etc etc.
The difference between our sexual perspectives and theirs is that we draw the line at harm or lack of consent, they draw the line at disgust.
Rofl, they were afraid for their right to bear arms instead of their right to bear dildos.
No one’s stopping them having bear dildos, just not too many of them.
We call this one “the grizzly”
Better than a growler.
Bare arse, more like!
The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.
…They would never interfere with libraries, right?
What about a service where you could rent sex toys through the mail? They would never interfere with mail delivery, right?
I would never have thought to go to walmart to buy a sex toy if I hadn’t seen them somewhat prominently displayed on my way towards the vitamin aisle.
Don’t most people just buy them online anyway? How the fuck would they even enforce this? The whole thing is a joke.
They’re criminalizing things more likely to be owned by people they’re trying to cleanse. Maybe cops show up and find you’ve exceeded your government allotted sex toy limit… would you lose your job? Your kids? Do you even call the cops? Do you hide the dildos in a gun safe and leave the guns out, to make the cops happy?
I find it hilarious that cops are going to start driving around with dildos in their car. You know, in case they need to plant one.
Rookie, sprinkle a little KY on him. Perfect.
It’s more of an excuse to pile more charges onto the types of people they don’t like.
While already in the house to investigate something (real or made up) it gives them an excuse to look through their underwear trying to find excuses to charge them.
So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?
Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom…
She’ll say “thanks a bunch” and get on with her day.
