thanks for your response, but in this community only women are permitted to comment or post. Hope you understand 🧡

thanks for your contribution, but this community is for women only to comment and post in. Hope you understand 💛

Yes, and being a man is very alienating and lonely … that aspect of transitioning to be a man can be a bit of a shock I’ve heard.

I think the rule should allow those people to decide to what extent they belong in a womens-only community, and that gives them the space to make that decision … there is also the fact that in my mind a big reason for a womens space is to provide a space where people who have been oppressed as women can talk away from the oppressors, and trans men typically have a history of living as a woman and thus having had the experiences of that social oppression (despite being men).

Either way, allowing people to self-identify and choose themselves whether they belong in a women-only community (rather than gatekeeping others identities) seems like the right approach to me.

It should be clarified: this is a womens-only community that allows trans & intersex folks (including non-women and trans men) to decide for themselves whether they feel they belong in a womens-only community. We technically allow cis men to disclose whether they’re women or not, too - when we don’t know, we just ask! It’s not that different for a trans man, we just might have extra language of “you decide whether you feel you belong here”.

But that’s not why you belong here, you belong because you’re a woman, silly 😝

I mean, I don’t know - I still debate this with myself tbh, it makes me feel a bit ill to include trans men in womens spaces because it’s just so transphobic on the face of it, it reminds me of womens spaces like the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival which famously excluded trans women from attending or performing, but allowed fully transitioned trans men not only to attend but to perform …

There is some implicit notion that when a woman becomes more masculine it is good, and trans men somehow embody the ultimate apotheosis of a woman (i.e. a woman who achieves manhood), it all just reeks of misogyny and transphobia to me. This thinking seems to hate femininity and it negates the male gender identity of trans men.

But being trans is so difficult even for the trans individual to come to terms with or understand that it’s not uncommon for trans folks to have complicated relationships to gender. A lot of us fall are not strictly binary, and we fall somewhere between men or women.

Some of us are binary enough but have been so pressured by society to fit in one box even after we realize we don’t fix that box we don’t feel we can move to the other box.

So I guess the “even trans men” is a way to just leave wiggle room for people to decide for themselves, and to prioritize self-identity, even though that is admittedly messy. And yes, it is to avoid someone feeling wronged by being excluded from a space where they feel they belong.

Thanks for your comment, but unfortunately this community is for women only. Hope you understand 🧡

Trans men are men and I believe the trans-affirming position is to exclude them, but if you’ve read Leslie Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues you already know it can be quite complicated - so we let trans men decide whether they belong in a womens-only community.

Some trans men have a butch lesbian identity before they transition that they continue to have a connection to, and it can be hard for some trans men to lose their connection to a community of women. Some trans men are not passing and continue to move through the world perceived as a woman despite having a gender identity that makes them a man.

Either way, I have understood the trans rule as allowing any trans individuals decide whether they feel they belong here or not. My understanding might be wrong, or we might need to revise the rule or my understanding of it.

We’re open even to non-women who feel they belong here or wish to participate, e.g. agender, non-binary, bigender, and even trans men (if they choose).

I’m not sure - I would probably want to look at what is well evidenced, i.e. what actually demonstrates reduced gender bias. Bias might be really hard to actually measure, so we might want to be specific about what we care about, e.g.

• salary gap between men and women
• % of workforce that is men vs women

and so on …

Policies that I’ve seen and come to mind (but may be flawed still, I haven’t thought much about this):

• provide childcare at the workplace, have somewhere your kids can be safe and taken care of while you’re at work
• seek out new hires, interns, and other candidates from all-women’s universities and colleges in addition to ivy leagues, major state schools, etc.
• have strong maternity and paternity leave

Making myself a fun coffee drink then putting on loud dance music and dancing in my kitchen is a low-materialistic treat I’ve taken.

Taking a bath can be, too.

thanks for your comment, but unfortunately this community is for women only - hope you understand ❤️

thanks for your comment and support!

However, this community has a rule that only women can comment, sorry.

Hope you understand 🧡

thank you for your comment, but unfortunately this is a womens-only community. Hope you understand 💛

nothing 😉

(I do sometimes wear a silk bonnet for my curly hair, and socks to keep my feet moisturized after putting on lotion - sexy, I know)

Are you applying?

I’m not following.

thanks for your insightful comment, but unfortunately this community is for women only, hope you understand! 🧡

thank you for your valuable comment; unfortunately this community is for women only, hope you understand 💛

oh? What’s a priority?