Been making internet ads more reliable for a few years now. That’s literally my entire job. Making sure that ads get shown on your computer screen with as little errors as possible. I was able to handle it okay at first because it pays well and I have no ability to get another job (combination of awful labor market and low experience) but I’ve been dissociating hard af and have started to get incredibly dark thoughts while at work (I’m perfectly fine outside of it) the last few weeks
It’s not even a fake email job, it’s pretty complex and has a decently high workload too so I can’t just screw around. I actually need to be able to focus deeply for hours every day which is now almost impossible because of how empty and dreadful it’s been making me
Haven’t quit because I’m supporting my partner as well who makes no money living their desired career
It probably won’t make you feel any better but in my experience most job that ultimately provide positive results for society/humanity are exhausting as hell because you either constantly fight your employer or the government just to do what you’re trying to do. I work in environmental remediation but my paychecks are signed by a major oil company.
Trust me I know. It’s a major reason why I haven’t quit because I know the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s just a different shade of yellow
https://strikemag.org/bullshit-jobs/
I should note that in the book, Graeber recognizes that many of us work these jobs because of the noble motivations you note (partner can’t support themselves etc). Only through the transformation of society can we liberate each other from these situations
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Music, drugs(weed)
Hey I used to do this job !!!
It is hard, it’s a industry with almost no fault tolerance in the process of stripping itself down to be run by less and less people.
I was able to use the experience to transfer to other fields requiring constant uptime and content delivery without being as much of a pressure cooker.
If you’ve been there for a few years already I would start looking at building all the very in-demand skills involved in near-instantaneous content delivery + data tracking into your resume or begin to specialize in one of the “cookie replacement” technologies that are worth 400 trillion dollars.
Especially in the current job market of “no one wants to train juniors” these are invaluable. Your job might even offer courses / cover training in whatever you are missing.
For your own mental wellbeing being able to focus on something related to but not the job itself might help? Sorry I know it’s hard being the breadwinner making slacking off / “quiet quitting” a risk. Best of luck and hope your situation improves.
First off, I sympathize. All this stuff we’re submerged in is exhausting and suffocating. Nothing has meaning and yet everything is overbearing and stressful.
How do you relate to your coworkers? If you hate them, maybe you’ll find some catharsis in this article (probably don’t read it if you like your coworkers/feel like there’s potential to organize with them)
How do you feel about Camus? If you really want to torture Sisyphus take away his rock, things of that nature?
Lol I’ve read that article and some others and it’s exactly how I’ve felt about this industry for a long time
Most my coworkers have usually been some combination of open Indian Hinduvists, purge all the homeless suburbanites, anti-woke incels, and now Zionists have also revealed themselves openly (cheering on the crackdown and deportation of student protestors)
I’m sorry you’re surrounded by fascists. I think there’s something a lot worse about being alone in the void of cynicism that the kind of work you’re describing brings on.
think of your partner
Start looking for a different job and use the possibility of a new job as a bit of hope. You mention lack of experience, but also that you job is pretty complex which has to translate into gaining some kind of new, marketable skill.
Also, I’d talk to your partner and explain your feelings about your current employment. It isn’t fair for them to be able to pursue their chosen career while you carry the burden of keeping the 2 of you afloat unless they contribute in some other meaningful way.
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Well sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. We gotta eat and oh fuck this I can’t do it anymore. Hell nah
So you’re the person on the evil side of the ad blocking arms race? That’s not just zero positive good, that’s actively making the world worse.
ad blocking arms race
Thankfully it’s not that bad, it’s mostly making sure ads don’t stop working because of normal reasons that any other website may stop working. Networking issues, bad code causing bugs, wrong config pushes, hardware failures, etc.
There’s some other team working on circumventing ublock and other ad blocking systems
There’s some other team working on circumventing ublock and other ad blocking systems
damn, was hoping you’d have some insight into this so you could reverse all the work your company does as a side project/hobby
Dissociation, this is what I do, its not healthy and it’ll ultimately begin to affect your work performance, but boy is it awesome, do it enough and you can zip around outside your body at will. For more healthy coping skills compartmentalization.
For more healthy coping skills compartmentalization.
I’ll try this thanks
You’re doing what you have to do to survive in a society that demands this of you. I completely get it, it would be nice to do something meaningful, but you have to live, right?
but you have to live, right?
That’s what I told myself the last few years to make it this far but it’s not enough anymore
Just start sabotaging
It’s honestly not much easier sabotaging from the inside than from the outside
Everything is insanely locked down and needs a superior to approve
I guess you have to find another job then? I just don’t want you to blame yourself or worse, because it’s not a situation you created
I’m sorry you’re going through that. I have a meaningless tech job, but fortunately it is mostly low stress with stretches of down time and stretches of crunch. If you can find a job with a schedule like that, it may help. But on the flip side it doesn’t pay much compared to most tech jobs and my spouse and I are just breaking even each month. You may be able to find another job with similar skills in another company, field, maybe NGO etc that is closer to something that interests you? But that’s a big if. Others in a similar thread here on hexbear, https://hexbear.net/post/4704897, were giving advice along those lines. Looking ay NGOs, doing GitHub projects for employers, etc. You may need to find a way to switch jobs to something that is less demanding so you have a better ability to “check out” and treat the job for what if is - just a means to an end. You may take a pay cut though - but sanity is priceless. It would be nice if work wasn’t alienating, but you know the drill there.
I’ve been casually looking for the last half year and the only people giving me interviews are hedge funds, Meta, Amazon, Doordash, Tiktok, and <10 people startups that want you to work 60-100 hours a week making an LLM wrapper to automate away workers or some stupid blockchain shit
You got more interviews than me lol. I couldn’t get big tech compact interviews, just smaller companies, and I got desparate enough to take the position I have now. My friend also was looking for work and found some tech job with a small company that builds art supplies. He can live with that. But none of these positions were the typical data science, or data engineering dev ops position that most people in tech are seeking. So the pay is less. But, the work load is less too than your job from what it sounds and it isn’t complete a completely bullshit
job.I remember back when I was still looking for jobs and an acquaintance of mine was so excited because they had found a data science job finally. They were so excited to tell me about this interesting position at Netflix where they use machine learning to find the optimal place to inserts ads into the TV shows…
Shit like that just crushes my soul, and I was confused as to how this person seemed like they were excited by that shit. Some people are just built different I suppose… tech people are smart but clueless and always stuck me as soulless empty people who would happily program the fascist death machine and geek out about it. I have stories, and I’m sure you do too.
I imagine any high paying job with start ups or the big tech companies is just working for the demiurge.
It took me a long time to find a job, so keep looking. I thought I would have had more luck in the job search half a year in, but it wasnt the case. Luckily you have no financial stress to find a job now. So you can be picky. I would keep looking, and give yourself some room to explore atypical job titles or institutions.
I couldn’t get big tech compact interviews, just smaller companies
So I’ve heard that working at a big tech can lock you into only other big tech companies. Non tech or smaller companies won’t give you a chance because they’re scared you’ll quickly leave to a higher paying job and are only using their job as a temporary measure while you look for something better
That may be true. Sorta makes sense in their twisted logic way. If you can get an interview they may ask you about that, so make sure to have some response. But for getting an interview it is a numbers game, and applying for jobs is a full time job itself. The whole thing’s a shit system. You’ve only done it for half a year, and only casually you say. So there is definitely a possibility of getting another job, even if the “lock in” effect is true, it can be broken with enough well tailored applications.
It sucks though. Everything about capitalism sucks
Also, idk if it’s just me, but linking hexbear posts or comments just doesn’t work on my phone. Maybe it works for you though, but on my phone the link just returns me to this page…
In case that link doesn’t work for you, search for the post “First job as software engineer. Realized I don’t love it as much as I love the humanities/social sciences. What to do?”
Some extra advice there may be somewhat related to your situation? Idk
Sorry for the tech fail.
