Do people really put that much thought into pet names? I’ve always thought it should be something that comes about organically, not something forced.
it should be something that comes about organically, not something forced.
Ok, but my pet name for you is now Hemorrhoids Henry
Wait isn’t that the sequel to hardcore Henry?
Hardcrap Henry
See, organic would have been calling MinorLaceration The Black Knight. “'Tis but a scratch.”
The joke is the out-of-context quote, which is similar to advice a doctor would give their patient to avoid hemorrhoids. Let the poop come naturally, don’t force it.
One day my wife said “see you later, alligator” and I reflexively replied “bye gator” and she’s been gator ever since.
Well my significant other is not creative at all, and started calling me poop-y, which i dislike (there are so many words, why pick a term for excrement), In that case, I had to speak my mind and explain that I did not like that pet name. Sometimes, nature needs a little help
Okay Manstah (from Mr. Right)
My pet name for my wife is sarcastic. Same back.
We tried the normal ones; no good.
Yeah she’s the bunny but I’m a monkey
For reasons unexplained, she loved the Monkey Man
You really call her “sarcastic” to her face?
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But does he copy?
I used to think that was funny. I still do, but I used to too.
He did not copy.
I miss Mitch. Thanks for the callback.
Why’d you call him that?
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Bro, you’re out here calling coworkers “drones” and acting like they’re in the wrong for not liking it.
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look at it from the point of view from someone who doesn’t know Star wars much at all. It sounds like a license plate lmao
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It’s a pretty good nickname. I’d’ve appreciated it.
Wait wait till you hear how he came up with a nickname for the HR rep, Ass-Stick Sally.
Wow, when I read that you’re calling him that, I was confused so I googled the guy. I saw he’s from station “o bby” and I figured it would probably be a way to hint that you’re into him. But then I kept reading…
After Tarkin repaired G7, he sent the MSE-6 unit back to TK-421 with a holomessage that indicated his interest in the stormtrooper as well as an invitation to visit his quarters to repair his aqualeisure unit. TK-421 felt flattered that he had caught someone’s eye, telling G7 that, if he played the situation right, he could get them a transfer to Coruscant or anything else they wanted.
Source: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/TK-421
I’ll summarize. TK-241 fucks an older coworker to get some favors. You calling him TK-241 was probably never interpreted as “haha you’re a drone”, but as “I’d like me some of that”. You were never the smart-ass you thought you were, you were just propositioning a coworker.
And the fun part is, you’re a fucking star wars fan. Poor guy was probably going back home to his wife with different levels of energy every single day.
Day 1
This random trekkie retard at work just called me tk-241, what do you think that’s about?
Just ignore him honey, he sounds like a weirdo.Day 2
Honey, he keeps calling me that. I should probably google what it’s from.
[…]
Holy shit. Holy shit, Jen, come and look at this. The nerd is coming onto me. What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Oh Jesus. How do I get out of this? He wants to fuck me and be my sugar daddy. Oh wow.
Haha, the weirdo’s got a crush on you! Aawww! Johnny’s got a secret admirer!
This isn’t funny Jen, he’s older and he can talk to people and make it hard for me at work, how the fuck do I get out of this?Day 3
Oh god, he did it again. He was laughing with his buddies when he did it today. I feel so dirty. Jen, what do I do?
Okay look, just stay calm. Lodge a complaint with HR explaining the situation. They probably can’t do much with such a dumbass reference, and he may feign ignorance, but you want it documented. Then you talk to him and say that you don’t like the nickname and to stop calling you that.
Yeah, you’re right. Oh god, I hope he stops. I’m talking to HR tomorrow.Day 4
He stopped. He finally stopped. I guess he’s weird and creepy, but at least he can take a ‘no’.
Did you announce HR anyway?
Oh yeah, they said if it happens again they’ll have a talk. This fucking situation just makes me feel gross though, what a fucking freak.
I’m guessing he was never at his post when they needed him.
I would love if my spouse had a weird-ass nickname for me like that.
I love you, sour meat 💖
*your
No, what I wrote is what I meant 😘
My wife has thousands of cute nicknames for our dogs. She calls me by my first name.
I bet you’re in her phone with your last name, too.
Oh, that’s subtle.
This comment could start a war, jeez
I’m “Asshole” in my wife’s phone. I discovered this years after she had it that when she used Google assistant to call my phone when I was looking for it. "OK Google, call my husband " “OK, calling Asshole”
Meatbridge?
The
Aww, Pencil Dumpling… You’re not missing out on much!
damn, the shittiest frozen pizza…
He should go with Totino Pizza
Sometimes it’s exactly what you want, though.
nope.
Don’t tell me how to eat my garbage
Ah wait, yeah, I just looked it up and I take it back. I think I was getting it confused with a pizza chain I used to love, Anthony’s Pizza.
Wait, are you thinking of Pizza By Anthony?
they are the cheapest ones… and if you just take a cheese one and add on your own toppings, a little extra cheese, some sauce, and a pizza crust, then you can throw frozen thing away and make your own pizza…
(i have eaten many where i added my own toppings and cheese though)
If he really loved her he’d call her Totino.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JVMdBpRffcs - Ranking 14 Frozen Pizzas | Bonus Babish
I love how she uses “little bird” as example for how great her nicknames are
If I ever refer to anyone as little bird it’ll include miniguns.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MD_Helicopters_MH-6_Little_Bird
That was the nickname they used for Tevye’s daughter Chavala in Fiddler on the Roof.
Also I just realized Cersei calls Sansa “little bird.”
Tony Pizza? I haven’t watched that movie in a while, but I feel like I’d remember Tony Pizza being serenaded by the tailor to “Wonder of Wonders.”
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Oh man! I forgot about Laser Wolf! What a classic Zero Mostel twist!
It’s likely the whole reason she gets called stupid petnames is to prove that you alone can’t be the judge of it.
I call my wife that occasionally, but only when I ask what the word is (“what’s the word, little bird?”)
Does she respond “how now brown cow?”
I’m thinking more like: “I want a divorce, charley horse.”
“Blow it out your ass, you rotting bass.”
Imma gonna eat ya, Tony pizza.
Oooh she’ll like that one!
I’m gonna eat you out, my little trout.
☹️
Bird. Bird’s the word. Ah B-B-Bird bird bird. Bird is the word.
Ma ma ma Uma mao mao
Classic.
This is one of my favorite internet stories.
I’ll just leave this graffiti here.
fartdog ❤️s munki
If you have graffiti photos we want them here: [email protected].
Call me Anthony Pizza!
The Crevice
What a delightful microcosm of the human experience. Tony Pizza.
Some women just don’t know how to appreciate a keeper :/
“Please help, the wedding is in three hours.”